Basic IT on call

Computer guy will fix your problems,
from the extremely basic to the
maliciously devious

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Pat “the Computer Guy”

Age: 41

Occupation: Computer repairman

Bio: Only a few short weeks ago, this uniquely resourceful Verdun stud lost his job doing basic home renovations and started picking up the resulting financial slack by pursuing his other profession, home computer repair. Having only purchased his first-ever PC “no more than nine years ago,” Pat the Computer Guy says he was “immediately taken with it. I’d spend 12 hours at a time online figuring these machines out. I’m really passionate about computers you know, I just love troubleshooting problems and stuff. I’ve always been interested in technology. Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve been taking things apart and figuring them out.” Having laboured as a tech in the past, Pat, who wants the world to know he’s very available for a full-time gig in the field if anybody’s hiring, will cheerfully come over to your digs and straighten out your computer woes for a mere $20 an hour, “and if I can’t figure it out and fix it, then you don’t pay me. People really respond to that because, really, they’ve got nothing to lose by calling me.” Contact him at patthecomputerguy@gmail.com or by phoning (514) 220-3130.

The most common things people call him up about: “These days, it’s problems related to spyware/adware. So many people don’t even realize anti-spyware/adware applications exist. I go onto people’s systems all the time where they don’t have any virus protection, or they’ve got an anti-virus program that hasn’t been updated in two years.”

Something Pat has noticed about the general public and how ignorant we are when it comes to computers: “I’d say at least 50 per cent of people don’t even know what a browser is, you know, that Firefox or whatever is called a browser. Only when I tell them, ‘You know, it’s that application you go to Google on’ do they realize what I’m talking about. Another thing is how many people think that when their computer starts to slow down or if they boot it up to a blank screen, that it’s suddenly become garbage. Often this can be solved simply by re-installing Windows, but lots of people don’t seem to realize that and instead just throw their computers out. They think if a virus messes up their operating system, well then, that’s it for their computer. Stuff like this really surprised me at first, you know, finding all these people who work on their computers eight to 10 hours a day still thinking like this.”

How often he discovers compromising files featuring his client’s private lovemaking adventures? Never.

If he were to come across files of a nude child frolicking in his backyard pool with an erection, would he notify the authorities or simply assume it’s all just innocent, boner-sprouting fun? “Well, jeez, I don’t know. What if the parents just thought it was cute or something? I doubt I’d contact the authorities unless what I discovered was blatant child pornography. Hopefully I’ll never be put in that position.”

Last book read: Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road, by Neil Peart.

Musical preferences: Rush, Beatles, Mack Mackenzie.

Words of wisdom: “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

Comments: dimwit@hdot.net