by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Stéphane Hémon

Age: 29

Occupation: "Practitioner/Teacher of unconditional love"

Bio: This loquacious NDG buck claims to have been a stud very early on in the game, back when all the chicks at his West Island high school would stand in line for the opportunity to cop a taste of his mighty teenage bone. Yet upon graduation Steph temporarily lost his mojo, finding himself going "from champ to chump overnight - and that bothered me very much, I had lost my confidence and social skills. So I got into psychology, hypnosis, NLP, meditation, transcending the ego and Tony Robbins," all in the effort to make himself more attractive to the ladies - something he appears to have done quite successfully. Now living in "a circle of unconditional love" with two teenage babes, Stef supports himself by providing advice to others looking to improve their status with the opposite sex. "Everything I teach comes from a foundation of honesty, trust, respect, loyalty and integrity. Technique alone will not work [in picking up girls]. It must come from the heart, not the penis."

Will he pass along his winning girl-baiting techniques to those with less honourable intentions as well? "Yes. Many of my clients are just looking for tricks."

One "trick": "You must circumvent a woman's fears of being labelled a slut and also that you're not a potential rapist. I don't judge a woman for enjoying sex and this makes them very, very attracted to me. You must learn not to judge, which takes great maturity. It's a lifelong thing to learn this."

Does that mean guys must wait until they're elderly before regularly getting laid? "No, I can get you results very quickly. So long as you're able to put your ego aside and not try to prove to me that you already know all this stuff."

Another "trick": "Tease her. Walk up to her and say, ‘Oh, you poor thing, you are just so horribly unattractive, guys must never come on to you. But that's all right, come here, it's okay.'"

Is how best to clandestinely slip Rohypnol into a potential "partner's" drink another important lesson in his program? "Um, no."

What it costs to learn from the master: "I let my customers decide what they want to pay me. If a guy wants to give me five bucks for five hours, then cool, man. Because what I'm really teaching is unconditional love and trust, so I have to live it myself." Reach him via www.ideagasms.com.

What chicks apparently like to talk about: "Themselves, the unknown and psychology. You know, things that are fun to women."

Will he instruct his pupils/disciples on the best way to lose a girl after sleeping with her so she stops bothering them, possibly distracting his pupils' attentions from the important task of baiting the next beaver? "Certainly. It's important people know how to break up smoothly. But it all must come from the heart."

Last book read: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey.

Musical tastes: Ozzy, Led Zep.

Words of wisdom: "All is fair in love and war."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca