Montrealers
Montrealer closest to sainthood
1. Father Emmett
Johns (Pops) of Le Bon Dieu dans la rue
2. Saku Koivu
3. Leonard Cohen
4. Pierre Trudeau
5. Jose Theodore
6. Celine Dion
7. David Usher
8. Jean Leloup
9. Mom Boucher
10. Phyllis Lambert
Honourable
mentions: Rufus Wainwright • Claude Rajotte • Frère
André
Streetkid saviour
Pops tops the list again, leaving more fallible mortals to battle
it out for the remaining spots. Charismatic and dapper Hells Angels
kingpin Maurice “Mom” Boucher’s debut here proves that
the bad boy thing still works.
Montrealer
closest to hell
1. Pierre Bourque
2. Mom Boucher
3. Castelli Brothers
4. Bernard Landry
5. Celine Dion
6. Gérald Tremblay
7. René Angélil
8. Davey Hilton
9. Jeffrey Loria
10. William Shatner
Honourable mentions: Brian Mulroney • David Usher • Alfonso
Gagliano
Reappearing this
year are Pierre Bourque, le p’tit roi Bernie, diva-creep Celine,
child-molesting boxer and sporter of lazy testicle Davey Hilton and
William Shatner. Jupiter Room co-owner Dave Castelli joins his brother-partner
Domenic, and Celine’s porky hubby/manager René Angélil
weighs in for the first time as well. Perhaps more sensibly, Mom Boucher
is in this category too.
Most desirable
man
1. David Usher
2. Jose Theodore
3. Rufus Wainwright
4. James DiSalvio
5. DJ Frigid
6. Saku Koivu
7. Todd Van der Heyden
8. Plastik Patrik
9. William Shatner
10. Jacques Villeneuve
Honourable mentions: Billy Mavreas • John Moore • Leonard
Cohen
My, but Montrealers
are a gender-inclusive bunch, seeing as two of our top 10 list are
actually bona fide drag queens. Oh well, whatever turns your crank.
So, two of our top 10 wear wigs, two have had hair transplants, at
least four are gay, not counting the honourable mentions…
Most desirable
woman
1. Mitsou
2. Sasha
3. Mutsumi Takahashi
4. Anne-Marie Withenshaw
5. Mado Lamotte
6. Celine Dion
7. Jessica Paré
8. Macha Grenon
9. Jamie Orchard
10. Tangerine Dream
Honourable mentions: Louise Lecavalier • Melissa Auf der Maur
• Mimi la Twisteuse
The city’s
premier chanteuse/actress edges out the Mirror’s sex columnist.
Could a mud-wrestling match be in order?
Ballot-box
stuffers
Every year hundreds of well-intentioned readers send in their
heartfelt Best of Montreal picks. It’s an unfortunate reality
that among these bright-eyed do-gooders lurk the pollster’s
worst enemy: ballot-box stuffers. These villains range from the
simpletons (like the guy who votes for himself in every category
and signs each ballot with his own name) to the fiendishly cunning
(like certain folks who mount elaborate cyber-stuffing-campaigns).
Rest assured that every tainted ballot has been destroyed, deleted,
or otherwise dismembered.
Corrections
Best of Montreal staffers work around the clock to ensure the
accuracy of our information. Unfortunately, mistakes occasionally
do occur, and we’d be more than happy to correct them.
Errors should be reported by May 17 (to be printed in our May
23 issue), and should be sent via e-mail (listings@
mtl-mirror.com), fax (393-3756) or through the post (465 McGill,
3rd floor, Montreal, QC, H2Y 4A6).
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Best dressed
Montrealer
1. David Usher
2. Celine Dion
3. Rufus Wainwright
4. James DiSalvio
5. Jean Leloup
6. Mitsou
7. Bill Haugland
8. Lederhosen Lucil
9. Yso
10. Dennis Trudeau
The rabid Moist
fan club weighs in heavily once again, while the silver medal for
Celine Dion can only make one’s jaw drop. New this year is Lederhosen
Lucil, whose Bavarian-Beer-Garden-look wedges her right between the
anchormen and the designer.
Best Montreal
weirdo
1. Great Antonio
2. Bourque
3. Spoonman
4. Celine Dion
5. Mado Lamotte
6. Jojo Savard
7. Michel Girouard
8. Accordi0n Guy
9. Plastik Patrik
10. The guy with the bike, cat and dog in Mile-End
Honourable mentions: Nantha Kumar • Harmonica Lady • Guru
of All Gods
Perennial favourite
the Great Antonio is back on top after a number five finish last year,
and despite being booted as mayor, Pierre Bourque is still sending
out strong weird vibes. The rest are a fine collection of drag queens,
psychics, singers, cooks and combinations thereof.
Tackiest personality
1. Celine Dion
2. Jojo Savard
3. Mado Lamotte
4. Plastik Patrik
5. Tommy Schnurmacher
6. Michel Girouard
7. Mosé Persico
8. Veronique Cloutier
9. Dom Castelli
10. Elizabeth Bromstein
Honourable mentions: Jack Todd • Tasso • Anne-Marie Losique
We certainly
wouldn’t dare argue with our readers in this category. Of course,
it should be pointed out that Elizabeth Bromstein (number 10 this
year, number two the two years previous), moved to Toronto some months
ago. It seems her legend still lingers.
Best politician
1.There aren’t any
2. Gérald Tremblay
3. Marc “Boris” St-Maurice
4. Jean Chrétien
5. Helen Fotopulos
6. Jean Charest
7. Michel Prescott
8. Irwin Cotler
9. Peter Trent
10. Any Green Party candidate
An oxymoron,
scoff cynics. Yet there seem to be at least some who think that our
elected—or aspiring—representatives do some good work. After
all, someone has to be pushing for local municipal democracy or legalizing
marijuana or advocating human rights or heading the country’s
government. It’s a dirty job, especially when graft, pork-barrelling
and megalomania lead so many to political doom. For example, we wonder
if Irwin Cotler will make this list next year.
Political
gaffe of the year
1. Megacity merger
2. Anything involving Gérald Tremblay
3. Evicting squatters
4. Anything involving Bernard Landry
5. Anything involving Pierre Bourque
6. Housing problems
7. Montreal Summit
8. Concordia University & the CSU
9. Alfonso Gagliano in his entirety
10. Police arrests at the anti-police brutality rally
It’s to
be expected that the one-island one-city chimera would come back and
bite Pierre Bourque in the ass, but it didn’t take long for his
successor, Tremblay, to make his way up our poll. The greasy-palm
scandals and invitation-only Summit certainly didn’t help.
Best political/social
cause
1. Housing activism
2. Anti-globalization
3. Dans la rue
4. Palestinian human rights
5. Save the Expos
6. AIDS
7. Legalization of marijuana
8. Anti-poverty
9. Citizens Against Police Brutality
10. Animal Rights
Voters were outraged
both by the immediate (rent prices spiralling out of control, the
need for weed) and the mighty (multinationals, corporate governance,
etc). Note the surprisingly strong showing from the die-hard souls
who still hope to keep the Expos in town.
Loudest activist
1. Jaggi Singh
2. Marc “Boris” St-Maurice
3. Alexandre Beaudoin-Duquette
4. Laith Marouf & Tom Keefer, students and Palestinian human rights
activists
5. Brent Tyler
6. Dext-r X
7. Pro Israel supporters
8. Alex Popovic
9. Kaie Kellough
10. All who support anti-globalization
Anarchist gadfly
Jaggi Singh, who was in prison this time last year for slinging teddy
bears, is your favourite loudmouth-with-a-cause, followed by pro-pot
Boris and anti-MAI guy Alexandre Beaudoin-Duquette. New public faces
on the activist scene are Tom Keefer and Laith Marouf, who caused
major headaches for Concordia rector Freddie “Boot ’em out”
Lowy. Pugilistic anglo rights lawyer and Alliance Quebec chief Brent
Tyler also strongarms his way into the top five.
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Still
smokin’
Pot booster Marc-Boris St-Maurice marks 10
years of activism
 by PATRICK
LEJTENYI
It all began, as usual, with a bust. In 1992, when Marc-Boris
St-Maurice, founder of the provincial Bloc Pot party, now head
of the federal Marijuana Party, was arrested for pot possession,
he knew a change was needed in Canada’s cannabis laws.
Joining others in the pro-pot crusade, in 1997 he formally entered
politics with the goal of legalizing recreational marijuana.
“I gave up rock ’n’ roll for politics,”
sighs the former Grim Skunk bassist. Making pot a full-time
job, however, is not as easy as it sounds. “Politics is
a lot of work, and it requires a lot of dedication.”
But the dedication can pay off. In the last federal election,
he received just under five per cent of the vote in the Laurier-Ste-Marie
riding, long a stronghold of Bloc Québécois leader
Gilles Duceppe.
In between campaigns, St-Maurice is fighting drug trafficking
charges, laid two years ago after police raided medical marijuana
distributors the Montreal Compassion Club, where he volunteers.
“Medical marijuana is a side issue,” he says. “Recreational
marijuana use is the main one. We can see the Liberals trying
to use it. It’s obvious [federal Industry Minister] Allan
Rock is trying to get the marijuana vote, and the rest of the
MPs are deathly scared of having us as the only voice for it.”
In his five years in politics, St-Maurice has gone from total
neophyte to a well-informed and articulate advocate. “In
1997, I knew nothing about politics,” he says. “I
knew a lot about pot, though. We’ve made some progress
[over the last 10 years], but there’s still a long way
to go. I can certainly take some satisfaction in knowing that
I helped push this issue along.” l
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Best replacement
mayor
1 Jean Leloup
2. Gérald Tremblay
3. Pierre Bourque
4. Saku Koivu
5. Mado Lamotte
6. Serge Savard
7. Marc “Boris” St-Maurice
8. Peter Trent
9. Youppi
10. Anyone
We agree, roly-poly
Jean Leloup would make an excellent mayor. However, as the number
two choice indicates, there seemed to be some confusion about this
category: by “replacement mayor,” we mean who would do a
better job than the person in office now, not who replaced the previous
guy… oh, never mind.
Best sports
personality
1. Saku Koivu
2. Jose Theodore
3. Vladimir Guerrero
4. Gabriel Morency
5. Felipe Alou
6. Marc Gagnon
7. Mitch Melnick
8. Randy Tieman
9. Ted Tevan
10. Doug Gilmour
Honorable mentions: Frank Robinson • Richard Zednick • Gino
Odjick
No surprise here.
Saku’s cancer comeback is as heartwarming a story as you’ll
find in the cash-obsessed, marketing-saturated cesspool that is pro
sports. Montrealers continue to swoon over the new-look Habs, while
our soon-to-be ex-S’pos are sitting pretty in the NL East. No
mention of the Alouettes, though.
Best radio
show
1. Off the Hook, CKUT
2. Aaron and Tasso, Q92
3. Folk Roots/Folk Branches, CKUT
4. Brave New Waves, CBC
5. Terry and Ted, CHOM
6. Aack! with Lori Edmonds, CKUT
7. Daybreak, CBC
8. Sports Weekly, CFMB
9. Tommy Schnurmacher, CJAD
10. CKUT’s two Palestinian human rights shows
CKUT’s hip
hop piss-take Off the Hook, hosted by Pat Wreck and Orion, wins for
the second straight year, followed by Q92’s morning team and,
making a debut appearance, Mike Regenstreif’s Folk Roots/Folk
Branches.
Best radio
host
1. Terry DiMonte, CHOM
2. Dave Bronstetter, CBC
3. Gabriel Morency, CFMB
4. Too Tall, CHOM
5. Aaron and Tasso, Q92
6. Claude Rajotte, CHOM
7. Nat Lauzon, Mix 96
8. André Maisonneuve, Mix 96
9. Patti Schmidt, CBC
10. Tommy Schnurmacher, CJAD
Terry Dimonte
made the move back to CHOM from CJAD and unseated longtime fave Claude
Rajotte, who dropped to number six. But the surprise this year is
Daybreak’s Dave Bronstetter, who didn’t make last year’s
list but finished a strong second this time. Hope it makes manning
the picket line a little easier.
Best local
newscast
1. CFCF
2. Global
3. CBC
4. CJAD
5. TQS
Despite Global’s convergence with the Gazette, CFCF once again
wins by a big margin.
Best talking
head
1. Todd Van der Heyden
2. Mutsumi Takahashi
3. Bill Haugland
4. Jamie Orchard
5. Dennis Trudeau
Congratulations
Todd, you’ve reached the top of the heap. Now if only you’d
do an investigation into the state of your hair.
