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Best Neighbourhood
1. Plateau
2. NDG
3. Mile-End
4. Westmount
5. St-Henri
6. Little Italy
7. Downtown
8. Verdun
9. Old Montreal
10. St-Leonard
11. Villeray
12. Rosemont
13. La Salle
14. Pointe St-Charles
15. South Shore
16. Côte-des-Neiges
17. Gay Village
18. McGill Ghetto
19. Petite-Patrie
20. Centre-Sud
21. Hochelaga-Maisonneuve
22. Outremont
23. Town of Mount-Royal
24. Laval
25. Little Burgundy
Apart from Westmount switching places with its neighbour down the hill, St-Henri, the top five is identical to last year’s. Rosemont (#12) and La Salle (#13) have made major gains, but Park Ex, the West Island and Brossard have fallen out of grace completely—though the latter is still represented by the South Shore (#15)—replaced by the apartheid-walled TMR (#23), the stripmall-plagued Laval (#24) and ghetto-fabulous Centre-Sud (#20), which includes le Gaybourhood (#17).
Best Minority
1. Anglos
2. Italians
3. Blacks
4. Gays
5. Jews
6. Greeks
7. Irish
8. Portuguese
9. Indian
10. White
Honourable mentions: Latino • Asian • Arab
It’s têtes carrés and wops at the top again, but blacks (#3) are way up from honourable mention—may this have something to do with the leader of the free world having darker than average skin? But Obama’s also half white (#10), though those votes were likely influenced by irony, or racism.
Best Building
1. Sun Life
2. St. Joseph’s Oratory
3. Place Ville-Marie
4. Bell Centre
5. Notre-Dame Basilica
6. Belgo
7. Habitat 67
8. Olympic Stadium
9. 1000 de la Gauchetière
10. Orange Julep
Honourable mentions: Bibliothèque Nationale • Museum of Fine Arts • Concordia EV
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As much as we love classic architecture (#1), our beacon (#3) and stunning monuments to Christianity (#2, #5), Montrealers have an insatiable taste for fugly concrete blocks (#7), retro-futurist garbage (#8) and giant spheres full of sickly sweet juice (#10). Vive le kitsch libre.
Best Place to Spot Celebrities
1. St-Laurent Boulevard
2. Buona Notte
3. Downtown
4. Old Port
5. Crescent Street
6. Old Montreal
7. Globe
8. Tribe Hyperclub
9. Plateau
10. Club Opera
Honourable mentions: W Hotel • Time Supper Club • Bell Centre
The Main remains the place for celebs of the international and local variety. But you may still be able to catch Lindsay Lohan’s cooties off the toilets and tanks at Tribe (#8)—though clubbing celebs also flock to Opera (#10)—and the reported season-long patronage of various Habs keeps Buona Notte at #2.
Best Place to Have Public Sex
1. Mount Royal
2. Parc Lafontaine
3. Angrignon park
4. All parks
5. My car
6. Public washrooms
7. Old Port
8. Metro
9. Alleys
10. McGill Campus
Honourable mentions: Churches • Cemeteries • Bus shelters • Buses • Rooftops • Against the window in a Hyatt hotel room overlooking the Jazz fest • In the window at Ogilvy’s • Dancefloors • At home, with the curtains open • Behind any dumpster on St-Laurent • By the Lachine Canal • Saphir girl’s bathroom • Under the Turcot • Wendy’s on St-Jean • The Biodome • Blue portolets outside the Bell Centre • St. Joseph’s Oratory • Neon parties • 1082 • The Faubourg’s fire evacuation hallway, second basement • On the grounds of Villa Maria high school, hidden in the bushes • Green room at Faggity Ass Fridays • Stoner park in the South Shore without getting caught by the feds • Mile-End train tracks triangle • Against the Big O • Upstairs bathroom at Bifteck • Bushes along the river in Verdun • Concordia campus • UQÀM campus • On a Plateau balcony • Ile St-Hélène • In front of Leonard Cohen’s house • In front of the Mirror office
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