1. Father Emmett “Pops” Johns
2. Leonard Cohen
3. Alex Kovalev
4. Bob Gainey
5. Carey Price
6. Saku Koivu
7. Guy Carboneau
8. Frere André
9. Pierre Elliot Trudeau
10. Celine Dion
Honourable mentions: William Shatner • Oscar Peterson • Maurice Richard

The top two retain their seemingly ever-lasting hold on their respective positions, but wow, what a difference a couple of playoff rounds make. Last year, only Koivu (#6) and Gainey (#7) made the list. This year, the captain (#6) and GM (#4) are joined by an enigmatic Russian alternate captain (Kovalev at #3), a laconic rookie goaltender (Price, #5), a coach and former Canadiens captain known for his ties (Carbonneau, #7) and the most famous Hab of all (Richard).

Montrealer Closest to Hell

1. Gérald Tremblay
2. Ben Mulroney
3. Celine Dion
4. Karla Hamolka
5. Brian Mulroney
6. Jean Charest
7. Vincent Lacroix
8. Pauline Marois
9. Mosé Persico
10. Claude Lajeunesse
Honourable mentions: Guy Cloutier •Justin Trudeau •Kimveer Gill

The mayor continues his dubious honour as Montreal’s most reviled, but the vacuous Ben jumps from #9 to #2 this year. Celine remains third, while Montrealers prove the out-of-sight-out-of-mind rule still (sort of) holds, as Karla Homolka drops to fourth from second, and Dawson shooter Kimveer Gill drops from #7 to “honourable” mention. New on the list are investment fund company Norbourg’s Lacroix, who was convicted late last year of bilking millions of dollars from almost 10,000 clients, and former Concordia president Lajeunesse.

Most Desirable Man

1. Leonard Cohen
2. Justin Trudeau
3. Roy Dupuis
4. Alex Kovalev
5. Nathan Cassiani
6. Sam Roberts
7. Gabriel Aubrey
8. Plastik Patrik
9. Sugar Sammy
10. Keith Dean
Honourable mentions: Carey Price • Rufus Wainwright • Jonas

Age before beauty this year. As Montreal’s favourite member of the Rock ’n’ Roll Hall of Fame beats out Montreal’s favourite political prince, and Kovalev takes the spot of last year’s favourite Canadien, Sheldon Souray. Cassiani, an organizer and activist around Concordia, enjoys great success for his looks, as does Halle Berry’s baby-daddy Aubry.

1. Elisha Cuthbert
2. Mitsou
3. Mutsumi Takahashi
4. Melissa Auf der Maur
5. Bronwen Agnew
6. Lucie Laurier
7.Celine Dion
8. Isabelle Blais
9. Amy Blackmore
10. Miss Sugarpuss

Honourable mentions: Annie DeMelt • Orla Johannes •Plastik Patrik

Elisha “Kim Bauer” Cuthbert retakes top spot away from Celine, who plummets to seventh here. Mitsou still hangs strong, while Mits leapfrogs #4 Melissa, and burlesque starlet Miss Sugarpuss makes her debut. Local beauties Laurier (Nitro, Bon Cop, Bad Cop) and Blais (Borderline) also make long overdue appearances, as Bronwen Agnew adds a little spice to Concordia food co-op Le Frigo Vert. Local singer/actress Blackmore breaks onto the scene at #9.

Best-dressed Montrealer

1. Leonard Cohen
2. Rufus Wainright
3. Keith Dean
4. Guy Carbonneau
5. Corneille
6. Elie Chivi
7. Mado
8. Monica de Liz
9. Justin Trudeau
10. Saku Koivu
Honourable mentions: Plastik Patrik • Philippe Dubuc • Sam Roberts

Is there anything our man Cohen can’t do (um, besides trust his business manager)? He jumps from #6 to the pole position this year, while Coach Carbo’s ties—hideously lucky and otherwise—maketh the man maketh the list (his gold wrist chain notwithstanding). Newcomer Elie Chivi, FYI, is president of the Concordia Student Union, and Monica de Liz calls herself, according to her Web site, “Image expert. Fashionista. Speaker,” who believes “success starts with your wardrobe.” And with an appearance on the BOM Best-dressed list!

Best Sports Personality

1. Alexei Kovalev
2. Saku Koivu
3. Carey Price
4. Guy Carbonneau

5. P.J. Stock
6. Bob Gainey
7. Randy Tieman
8. Pierre & Yvon
9. George St-Pierre
10. Mike Komisarek
Honourable mentions: Ron Reusch • Mitch Melnick • Alexandre Despatie

La Presse’s François Gagnon says, in all seriousness, that the Canadiens dressing room isn’t big enough for both Koivu and Kovalev. What about this list?! After taking a year off, this category reappears, with a surprisingly strong showing by the former NHL tough guy/Team 990 host/CBC News at Six/Hockey Night in Canada’s P.J. Stock (see story). Hockey players and hockey media types do well this year, while Ultimate Fighting welterweight champion George “GSP” St-Pierre punches, kicks, pummels and pins his way into #9.

1. Mosé Perciso
2. Ben Mulroney
3. Celine Dion
4. Mado
5. Cary Tauben
6. JoJo Savard
7. Michele Richard
8. Frank Cavallaro
9. Anne-Marie Losique
10. Gérald Tremblay
Honourable mentions: Jonas • Keith Dean • Gregory Charles

Last year, Mosé tied for top spot with Malik Shaheed, but this year, he can collect the tacky award all by himself. Congrats! Shaheed disappears, but Mulroney, Mado and Celine all command the top four spots, as they did last year. New on the list is bizarre self-proclaimed fashion personality and party-goer (when not dressing the window at Abe and Mary’s on Jean-Talon) Tauben, clocking in at #5.

1. Hollywood the Banana man
2. Spider-Man
3. Spoonman
4. Bearded guy on the tricycle
5. One Armed Man on Ste-Catherine
(aka Stumpy)
6. Mado
7. Maysr
8. Madness
9. Flute-Playing Guy on Stilts
10. Cary Tauben
Honourable mentions: Nantha Kumar • Keith Dean • Dane Gerus

Our man Hollywood remains on top of his game, while Spidey slings his way into the second spot. Other regulars include Jack the tricycle guy, Stumpy, Stilts Guy (aka Greg Dunlevy), Mado and Maysr, who still have a devoted following. New are Tauben and pregnantgoldfish.wordpress.com co-founder Dane Gerus, taking fashion, blogging and excessive hipster doofus-ness to new levels.

1. None/Does not exist/Ha ha ha!
2. Jean Charest
3. Justin Trudeau
4. Thomas Mulcair
5. Gérald Tremblay
6. Jack Layton
7. Peter McQueen
8. Amir Khadir
9. Stéphane Dion
10. Pierre Elliott Trudeau
Honourable mentions: Pauline Marois • Gilles Duceppe • Jean Chrétien

Okay, usual opprobrium aside, our slippery Teflon premier is a lock in this category. Maybe because he beats the alternatives? Young Trudeau moves up, now that he has a riding to contest in the next federal election (yaaargh!) and Thomas Mulcair, the NDP’s (only) man in Quebec—and in Outremont, no less!—appears after being blanked in 2007.

1. Environment/Going green
2. Climate change
3. Education/tuition/accessible education
4. Le Bon Dieu dans la rue
5. Marijuana legalization
6. Animal rights
7. Griffintown
8. Health care
9. Housing
10. Homeless
Honourable mentions: Free Tibet • Parc Avenue fiasco • AIDS

This one’s tricky. The top two are definitely related, so that means Montrealers are getting pretty freaked out at our weather—and no, just because last winter was a never-ending bitch, that DOES NOT MEAN GLOBAL WARMING IS A MYTH! Saving Griffintown from a massive overhaul by a single developer is troubling many, as is China’s continued repression of Tibetans, especially in the lead-up to the Olympics. And people still haven’t forgotten the attempt to rename Parc after Robert Bourrassa. Was that Mayor Tremblay’s Waterloo? We’ll find out next year.


Loudest Activist

1. Jaggi Singh
2. Students
3. Steven Guilbeault
4. Alison Louder
5. Fidel Fuentes
6. Irkar Beljaars
7. Peter McQueen
8. Lucas Solowey
9. Chris Schwartz
10. Boris St-Maurice

Honourable mentions: Stefan Christoff • Amir Khadir • Montreal Canadiens fans

Singh has been keeping a pretty low profile these days, but our rowdy student populace hasn’t, fearing the rising price of tuition and a general lack of investment in post-secondary education. Guilbeault, formerly of Greenpeace, now with Équiterre, remains a popular spokesman for the environment, while Beljaars, a Métis journalist at CKUT and producer of Native Solidarity News, appears for the first time. Other new names are NDP guy Fuentes, PETA activist Solowey and West End traffic complainer/Green candidate McQueen.