Good clean fun?

Sons of Warsaw, Sean Kosa and Genders bring some dirt to the dancefloor

by RAF KATIGBAK

During the Middle Ages, the French were known for three things—fighting, feasting and fucking. It’s taken about 500 years, but that rep has since nosedived from “glorious conquering empire” to “smelly, cheese-eating surrender monkeys”. Way to go, France! Thank the Lord that over here in Montreal—France’s horny North American bastard child—we’re busy holding things down, with one hand on our hearts and the other on our naughty bits.

Montreal likes it dirty with a capital “D”. Anyone seeking proof has but to stroll down Ste-Catherine and take in the myriad jack shacks, peeler bars, erotic boutiques and naked breakfast places strategically placed, um, everywhere. But who can blame us? After years and years of Catholic oppression, our city’s appetite for kink has been amplified approximately 1.3 gazillion times. It’s a city-wide perpetual hard-on that’s matched only by our obsession with music.

Historically speaking, dancing and sex have had a long and sordid affair. During the ’50s, belly-dancing was forbidden in Egypt because of its perceived lewdness. Three decades later, marking a milestone in artistic challenge to American first-amendment injustice, came Footloose, Lambada (the forbidden dance!) and of course Dirty Dancing (“spaghetti arms!”).

In more recent news, earlier this month, the Fourth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Richmond, Virginia, decided that the First Amendment’s guarantee of free speech does not apply in the case of Rebecca Willis, a resident of Marshall, who was banned from attending public dances at a community centre because of her “provocative” moves.

Luckily, here in Montreal, getting dirty on the dancefloor isn’t a problem. In fact, it’s encouraged. More and more, sex and music are intermingling like a fat businessman and shepherd’s pie at a strip-club buffet. So much so that clubland dancefloors are giving back-alley Beaudry glory holes a run for their money, as they ignite with kids grinding, winding and downright dry-dockin’ to a deeper, darker side of dance music. The sound is raw, primal, throbbing and, in a word, dirty. DJs and live acts are moving away from the squeaky-clean, obsessively-produced micro-house and getting more daring, upping the dirty quotient and playing dance music that has both the visceral, distorted defiance of rock and the relentless chugging of electronic beats. The Mirror talked to three acts whose upcoming gigs in our fair city promise to put the double Ds back onto dirty dancefloors.

Sean Kosa

This guy will freak you out. Whether it’s DJ sets that bring his poom-poom-shorted fans at the debauched Neon parties to eargasm, or his wry, comical buffoonery at Moog Audio music store, Kosa knows how to please. With several skull-humping releases on Turbo and Lipstick Music to his name, Kosa has never been afraid to tell it like it is.

“The people in Montreal are dirty as hell,” says Kosa. “Were you here for Pop Montreal? Amazing festival, but my God, are those indie kids filthy. Personally, I prefer goths. At least they wear perfume, and their fingernails are immaculate. Either way, it’s a good thing. Tourists help our economy—and they’re funny as hell.”

With his testosterone-fuelled, goofball rap group Evening and his darker, stone-faced, goth-rock duo Cutthroat Republic, Kosa is one of Montreal’s nastiest musical assets.

Mirror: Would you describe your sound as clean or dirty?

Sean Kosa: My sound is as dirty as a shit shower. Why? Because it’s my civic duty to overpower the patchouli stench that emanates from every djembe player that likes to “rock their music” at the tam-tams every Sunday.

M: What do you think constitutes good clean fun?

SK: Going to church. Either that or overwhelming vodka consumption, but for many, the two go hand in hand.

M: Good dirty fun?

SK: Dinner and drinks with my family.

M: Dirtiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

SK: I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that it involved mini donkeys, airplane glue, latex gloves and more trannies than you could shake a stick at.

M: Dirtiest thing you ever did?

SK: Put my entire body in a huge bag of mayonnaise, and then [my girlfriend] Mijon fried up some bacon and licked it off me. I heard Sting did that too.

M: Dirtiest party ever played?

SK: I can’t remember much ’cause I was pretty drunk when I showed up, but l’ll tell you this—it was the best bar mitzvah I’ve ever been to.

With the Mole, Poontz and DJ Fiend at Saphir on Thursday, Oct. 27, 8 p.m., as part of Cutthroat Republic , with DJ T, Plastique de Rêve and Jordan Dare at the Neon halloween party at SAT on Friday, Oct. 28, 8 p.m., $20, and with Jordan dare at Jupiter Room on Monday, Oct. 31, 8 p.m.

Sons of Warsaw

They are manly. They are virile. They are muscular, smooth and sensual. They are culinary geniuses—and they are Polish. They drink wódka, not vodka, and spin records for disco misfits. They play songs for disenfranchised punks and jaded dilettantes. They rock the dungeon and they want people who like to move it, move it. They are the Sons of Warsaw and they’re the dirtiest pairing to hit Montreal since poutines and pubes. Over the last 12 months, DJs Bartek and Krzysztof have quickly become the go-to guys for promoters who want a slice of nasty, rare electro-disco and dance-punk shenanigans. With a mission to teach bored indie kids how to dance, their bi-weekly Flaky Disco Friday nights at Zoobizarre promise more dancing Poles than an East-End titty bar.

M: What do you think constitutes good clean fun? Good dirty fun?

Sons of Warsaw: Good dirty fun—putting pickles or sausages in our mouths. Good clean fun—washing them down with wódka.

M: Dirtiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

SOW: We were once assailed by a gang of roving frotteurs on the dancefloor. We know that our music tends to instill a sex panic, but it’s not a green light to subject us to your sexual deviations. We like a heavy petting as much as the next man, but geez! Sons of Warsaw only advocate consensual frotteurism at their parties.

M: Dirtiest thing you ever did?

SOW: Who the hell are you? KGB? None of your fucking business, comrade.

M: Dirtiest party ever played?

SOW: Any party that we attend is the dirtiest party ever—until the next party we attend. We are constantly upping the filth ante. We are relentless.

With Et Sans at the Masters of Panick vernissage at Madame Edgar tonight, Thursday, Oct. 20, 7 p.m., free, and at Zoobizarre on Friday, Oct. 28, 10 p.m., free

Genders

Little is known about the mysterious, Detroit-based duo of Jeans and Teas, known together as Genders, other than the handful of self-released musical documents and the fact that Adult. picked them up for a coast-to-coast tour. With an EP of moody, bare-bones, hypnotic goth-dub recently released on Kid606’s Tigerbeat6 label, Genders’ music is perfectly suited to the dark, dank, smoke-filled clubs that permeate Montreal’s nightlife—places where anything and everything goes (including your pants). Their ghostly, reverb-drenched wailing provides perfect counterpoint to the relentless drive of the antiquated drum machine and lonesome, overdriven synth and guitar lines. They also put on a hella crazy live show, where past spectacles included wooden bears, layers of scarves and assorted theatrical oddities.

M: What do you think constitutes good clean fun?

Genders: Good clean fun is definitely authentic, bona fide, conforming, dependable, genuine, honest, justified, legitimate, loyal, orthodox, proper, regular, reliable, sound, strict, true, trustworthy, valid, well-founded, lemon-freshened smiley-kid containers with fun fruit.

M: Good dirty fun?

G: Good ol’ dirty fun is just that good ol’ dirty fun that you have when you’re ol’ and dirty having good fun.

M: Dirtiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

G: Teas has slept on a maggot-infested, tent-thing sleeping bag.

M: Dirtiest thing you ever did?

G: A little runny-run, soft and sweet, a little runny-run, on my feet. A little runny-run, once was one, a little runny-run. A little pill.

M: Dirtiest party ever played?

G: All of our shows are pretty dirty, sorta like that one show where the kids kinda leave one by one and things get knocked over, someone gives you a dirty look, there is a hand slicing, I think a few amps fall over—one giant snarl. H

With Adult., Optimo, Der Plan, Sister Iodine and Satan Bélanger at SAT tonight, Thursday, Oct. 20, 8:30 p.m., $25

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