by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Aris Makris

Age: 42

Occupation: Pankration instructor

Bio: This Chomedey stud of Herculean proportions first became interested in the martial arts as a teenage Bruce Lee fan back in the 1970s. Having acquired seven black belts in the various arts, "none of them less than three dan," young Aris fell upon pankration, an ancient Greek martial art which bears an uncanny resemblance to modern day Ultimate Fighting competitions you might have seen on TV. Originally pursuing it because it is "part of my heritage," Aris says that "the wind of Achilles took me off" and eventually inspired him to open the Canadian Pankration Academy (www.pankrationcanada.com) in the mid-1980s - a school he continues to operate today. "Pankration is a lifestyle. You need a certain amount of brains to do this. It's the ultimate chess game."

The number of brainiacs he's registered who are just looking for better ways to beat people up? None. "I enjoy tough guys, but I won't accept anybody who I feel is malevolent and intentionally wants to hurt people. My school has a family atmosphere."

Are battling granddads an element of said family atmosphere? Not so much. "But I do have one [student] who is 78 years old. I had him at a show last year at the Old Port for the Greek festival and he blew everyone away."

Do unsure newcomers insist that they only spar with the old guy? Not if they know what's good for them. "Actually, at the festival these older Greek men were laughing at him before he got on stage. Two minutes into it and they sure weren't laughing anymore."

Are there any female pankratists? Or is the female variation of the sport known as mud wrestling? No, it's still called pankration and "we've got about eight females here. We've all sorts of people - entire families who come to participate with their kids. Not everyone comes to be a fighter, many just want to get in shape."

Do pankratists still continue the ancient Greek tradition of greasing themselves up and fighting in the nude? No.

Do traditionalists ever ask Aris if something like this could be arranged - if not at the Academy, then at least in private on Aris's bed? "Nah, but we have our own little jokes. Like if somebody brings a friend for the first time, we'll line them up in front of everybody and say, ‘Okay, it's time for your initiation, who's got the Vaseline?' We do it all serious-like just to see what the guy is gonna do. And we keep it going for a long time, telling them it's an [important] ritual. But you really have to keep your focus on the door to see that they don't just leave."

Do people ever walk out feeling cheated and outraged to discover the gang bum-love initiation they'd heard so much about is just a hoax? Never to date.

Last book read: Gates of Fire, by Stephen Pressfield.

Musical preferences: Stevie Ray Vaughn, Buddy Guy.

Words of wisdom: "A fool rushes in where a wise man fears to tread."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca