Gettin’ high
on lo-fi

>> Les Sexareenos enjoy the riches
of their latest concept

by JOHNSON CUMMINS

Sure, Les Sexareenos just got back from wowing the kids in Japan and Hawaii and are set to record their next record at Toe Rag studios in London (that’s in the U.K., Poindexter). But as I’m in an elevator travelling up to their penthouse, I can’t help but think something is really up. My suspicions of success are confirmed once the doors open to a palatial estate and I’m met by their Taiwanese boy servant, Rat Dog, who hands me a kimono and tells me that bassist Z.J. and drummer Quench will meet me in the study.

My nose for news starts a-twichin’. Did I take a wrong turn on St-Laurent and stumble into James DiSalvio’s apartment (remember Bran Van 3000?). Weren’t these guys once just little punks in the Spaceshits who couldn’t hold down a rehearsal space, let alone buy a six of Lucky Lager? After drinking a cup of lemon grass tea and snorting rails of the purest Peruvian marching powder, Quench and Z.J. appear decked out in Armani. Drummer Quench has already anticipated my first question. He just smiles and whispers: “Lo-fi my friend, that’s the ticket.” Lo-fi? Wasn’t that big in 1994?

“We’ve done exhaustive market research on this and, as you can see, it’s paid off,” says bassist Z.J., as he walks me through his turn of the century art collection and home arcade. Taking out a chalkboard, he shows me a graph entitled, “Operation: Everybody Sexareeno” with the Hives and the White Stripes written on top of a pyramid. Les Sexareenos explain, using a pointer, that by simply dropping the words “lo-fi,” (their label) “Sympathy for the Recording Industry” and “White Stripes” at opportune moments, misguided fans will gladly hand over their babysitting money.

Quench then takes out a folder labelled “Chumps.”

“This folder illustrates our basic demographic,” says Quench, showing me pictures of acne-ridden, myopic guys and girls with antique specs on their noses. “The majority of these people are either record store clerks, Magnet magazine subscribers, college radio DJs or computer Web designers. That’s a big market, and, seeing as most of them were into Moby last year, they can’t even tell the difference between us and the Hives, so it’s a perfect plan. We almost shot ourselves in the foot by saying we were part of Rufus Wainwright’s popera movement, and we were considering the cocktail nation thing a few years back. But I’m glad we held out for lo-fi.”

After retiring next to a fireplace, sharing a bottle of port and lighting Cubans with hundred dollar bills, the two tell me about their antique car collection and the condo in Bermuda that they time-share with godspeed you black emperor!. This is all well and good, but I can’t help asking them what they’ll do after this lo-fi thing dries up.

Without missing a beat, they both smile and respond, “emo ska.” Keep your eyes peeled. :

With BBQ and Les Vautours at La Sala Rossa on Saturday, Aug. 24, 9:30pm, $6

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