1. Derek Kenny (Scotyz)
2. Heidy Proulx (Madhatter)
3. Jessica LaBlanche (Honey Martin)
4. Garth Burnham (Grumpy’s)
5. Gern F (Grumpy’s)
6. Gabriella (Moomba)
7. Adam Vieira (B-Side)
8. Devon O’Farrel (Clyde’s)
9. Bill (Foufounes Électriques, Saphir, Brutopia)
10. Danny Smiles (B-Side)
Honourable mentions: Ram Krishnan
(Grumpy’s), James Eagleson (Madhatter), Phil (Baldwin Barmacie), Stacy Kennedy (Tokyo)

Maybe he’s got an advanced psych degree, making his the best ear to bend with tales of woe and wonder over a drink or two—the truest task of a dedicated barkeep. Or maybe, conversely, he sucks at math and generously guesses his mixes by eye. Either way, for the second year running, Derek Kenny at South Shore hot spot Scotyz aces this category, holding onto his #1 placing. The 450 has spoken! Grumpy’s Gern F slides again, from #4 last year and #2 in ’08, beaten out by his colleague Garth. B-Siders Adam Vieira (steady at #7, where he was last year) and Danny Smiles (up from the mentions and onto the list) also rank, but Danny, only 10th place? Smile harder, man, smile harder!

1. Lisa Notargiovanni (Scotyz)
2. Heidy Proulx (Madhatter’s)
3. Rachel Dustin Sauve (Taqueria Mex)
4. Lisa Armstrong (Bifteck)
5. Brenda (Light Ultra Club)
6. Vito Ciocca (B-Side)
7. Dave Morin (3 Amigos)
8. Felicity Hamer (Brutopia)
9. Marie-Claude (Copacabana)
10. Ioanna (Moomba)
Honourable mentions: Jen (McKibbins), Jess
Cadot (Rouge), Manon (McLean’s), Melodie (Saphir)

What a jump for Lisa at Scotyz! Last year, she ranked at 10th place. A year later and she’s at #1, snagging another top ranking for Scotyz alongside Derek’s, above. All hail the king and queen of St- Hubert! Not too distantly behind her, grabbing second place, is Madhatter’s Heidi, who seems to dazzle her clients whether she’s on the floor or behind the bar (see above). Rachel at Taqueria Mex is a newcomer in this category, making an impressive third-place debut—olé! And Bifteck’s Lisa jumps five spots from last year’s ninth place.

Best Watering Hole

1. Bifteck
2. Dieu du Ciel
3. Scotyz
4. Grumpy’s
5. McKibbins
6. Hurley’s
7. Madhatters
8. Brutopia
9. Foufounes Électriques
10. Bull Pub
Honourable mentions: Burgundy Lion Pub, Barfly, Ye Olde Orchard, Honey Martin, Peel Pub, Casa del Popolo, Copacabana, Irish Embassy, Cock ‘n’ Bull

In a category that’s all about reliably familiar haunts, it’s no surprise that the first-place winner of the two previous years, that mainstay of the Main, Bifteck, again wins out. But wait! The second-place slot is usually taken by either Brutopia or Grumpy’s, who this year earned about the same vote count as their fellow downtown-core joints McKibbins, Hurley’s and Madhatters. But comfy little “brasserie artisanale” Dieu du Ciel, a fave of Mile-Enders in a nook on Laurier, knocks ’em down with a furious leap up from mere mention last year. Perhaps, like many of the strange concoctions on Dieu du Ciel’s extensive menu of novelty brews, once you get used to it, you don’t know what you did without it.

Best Sleazy Dive

1. Barfly
2. Bifteck
3. Madhatters
4. Miami
5. Foufounes Électriques
6. Thursdays
7. Peel Pub
8. Copacabana
9. Cock ’n’ Bull
10. Black Jack
Honourable mentions: Reggie’s, Maz, Grumpy’s, Fats, Korova, PJ’s, Bar des Pins, Bar Diana, Cleopatra

Bifteck might hold onto its top placing in the Watering Hole category, but this year, Barfly—the name of which basically trumpets its sleaze-iastic dive-osity—finally knocks the Biffer outta top place here. Nice to see Black Jack, home of Time’s Up (a weekly sock hop/glee club organized by local interfaith youth outreach project Pirates of the Lachine Canal), finally getting the top-10 toehold it deserves.

Best 5 à 7

1. Carlos & Pepes
2. McKibbin’s
3. Thursday’s
4. Buvette Chez Simone
5. Brutopia
6. 3 Brasseurs
7. Foufounes Électriques
8. Confessional
9. Baldwin Barmacie
10. Winnie’s
Honourable mentions: Scotyz, Irish Embassy, Sky Pub, Else’s, Salon Official

Best Pick-up Spot

1. Thursdays
2. Foufounes Électriques
3. Winnie’s
4. Gogo Lounge
5. Tokyo
6. Rouge
7. Korova
8. Baldwin Barmacie
9. Fagotin
10. Blue Dog Motel
Honourable mentions: Cagibi, Madhatters,
Saphir, Reggie’s, Salon Officiel, Unity

The perennial winner-by-a-mile in this steamy category, Thursdays, maintains its champion status as hook-up central for Montreal, and Foufs holds onto its #2 ranking. New on this list are Radio Lounge, doin’ something right at fourth place, Baldwin Barmacie and the South Shore’s Fagotin.

Best Wine Bar

1. Pullman
2. Buvette Chez Simone
3. Bu
4. Vino
5. Chesterfield
6. Bouchonné
7. Pop!
8. Narcisse
9. Plateau Lounge
10. Wienstein & Gavino’s
Honourable mentions: Whiskey Café, SAQ

This is a new category. Answering the slurred but good-natured calls of oenophiles (that’s Greek for “connoisseurs,” which is French for “lushes”), wine bars have sprouted up all over town in the last year or two, boasting stacks of obscure but fancypants reds, whites and rosées in environmentally controlled chambers worthy of The Andromeda Strain. Wine aficionados, who can be pretty fussy about these things, should note that Pullman, on Parc just north of Sherbrooke, utterly aced this category, coming in far ahead of any competition. Check it or any of the others out, and remember, sommeliers love it, just love it, when you question their authoritative suggestions..

1. Cagibi
2. Buona Notte
3. Velvet Speakeasy
4. Foufounes Électriques
5. Sparrow
6. Globe
7. Moomba
8. Time Supperclub
9. W Hotel
10. Fagotin
Honourable mentions: Casa del Popolo, Salon Official, Tokyo, Blue Dog Motel, Rouge, Sky, Bily Kun, Macaroni Bar

Best Terrasse

1. Saint Sulpice
2. Pub Ste-Élisabeth
3. Sky
4. Hotel de la Montagne
5. Winnie’s
6. Tokyo
7. Terrasses Bonsecours
8. Foufounes Électriques
9. Santropol
10. Vices et Versa
Honourable mentions: Jardin Nelson, Macaroni Bar, Madhatters, Thursday’s, Hurley’s, Casa del Popolo

The clash of the terrasse titans continues, with the sprawling back lot of Saint Sulpice again beating out the wonderfully sealed-off, ivydrenched sanctum of its nearby neighbour Pub Ste-Élisabeth by only a handful of votes. The surprise arrival in this usually stable category is Terrasses Bonsecours, indicative of how the Old Port is an increasingly busy social hub, no longer the exclusive domain of tourists. Also of note is Santropol’s cute little backyard, full of greenery and cats and what have you, likewise a newcomer to this list.

1. Metropolis
2. La Sala Rossa
3. Club Soda
4. Casa del Popolo
5. Le National
6. Foufounes Électriques
7. Divan Orange
8. Bell Centre
9. Il Motore
10. Katacombes
Honourable mentions: Café Campus,
l’Escogriffe, SAT, Friendship Cove, Jello Bar, la Tulipe, Barfly, Eastern Bloc, l’Olympia, Cabaret Juste pour rire, Upstairs, Torn Curtain, the Pound, le Medley (RIP)

A moment of silence for metal depot le Medley, the doors of which are now closed… Okay, done? Great, let’s make a racket! No major changes in this category, with the cavernous Metropolis and cozier Sala Rossa again taking first and second place, respectively. The noteworthy development in this category can be found in the honourable mentions, where lofts and other DIY spaces, previously mostly unaccounted for, rank strongly. Good thing, because if you can tolerate dubious sound systems, lack of ventilation and the occasional roust by the beast in blue, these are the places where one can discover many of the acts that will be treading the stages of the more respectable entries a few years down the line.

1. Gogo Lounge
2. Jello Bar
3. Kafein
4. Univers
5. Laïka
6. Typhoon
7. Sparrow
8. Vinyl
9. Baldwin Barmacie
10. Gotha
Honourable mention: Koko, Blizzarts, Rouge, Consulat

Best Jazz Bar

1. Upstairs
2. Diese Onze
3. House of Jazz
4. Jello Bar
5. Snack’n Blues
6. Bily Kun
7. Modavie
8. Griffintown Café
9. Diable à Quatre
10. L’Astral
Honourable mentions: Gainsbar, Casa del Popolo, Absynthe

Best Dance Club

1. Moomba
2. Rouge
3. Unity
4. Tokyo
5. Club 1234
6. Blue Dog Motel
7. Korova
8. Le Parking
9. Salon Daomé
10. Foufounes Électriques
Honourable mentions: B-Side, Saphir, Sky, Velvet Speakeasy, Stereo, Radio Lounge, Light Ultra Club, Blizzarts, Electric Avenue, Green Room, SAT, le
Belmont

Up from fifth place last year, Moomba—the happenin’-est hot spot on that Sunset Strip of the North, avenue Pierre-Péladeau in Laval— beats out Rouge (last year’s seventh-placer). As pressing a question as “where the hell is Moomba?” is, “what IS a moomba?” Answer: a town in Australia, or alternately, “A possible final stage in the evolving life cycle of a Shumi in Final Fantasy VIII.” Unity also climbs up from sixth place last year, while Tokyo tumbles two notches and Parking drops five. Up out of last year’s honourable mentions into the Top 10 are Club 1234, Foufs, Korova and Salon Daomé.

Best Club Night

1. Faggity Ass Fridays (Playhouse)
2. Sextape Fridays (Blue Dog Motel)
3. Indecent Xposure (various venues)
4. Thursday nights at Moomba
5. Cruise Control (les Passages)
6. Tokyo Rock Wednesdays (Tokyo)
7. Mod Club (Blizzarts)
8. The Goods (la Sala Rossa)
9. Thursday on the Rocks (Salon Officiel)
10. Meow Mix (la Sala Rossa)
Honourable mention: Mec Plus Ultra (le
Belmont), Bass Drive (Koï), Grilled Cheese Thursdays (Blue Dog Motel), Showtime Saturdays (Koï)

Faggity Ass Fridays again rule the roost in this category, but the wrapping up of DJ Mini’s longstanding Overdose nights at Parking opens up second place for Sextape Fridays at Blue Dog, last year’s third-placer. Indecent Xposure’s parties make a powerful first-time showing, while ladies’ night Cruise Control jumps up a spot.


Best Afterhours

1. Stereo
2. Circus
3. Silver Door
4. Red Lite
5. La Banquise/the Main Steakhouse

1. Blue Skies Turns Black
2. Global NTT
3. Grand Entertainment
4. Sherwin Tija
5. I Love Neon
6. D.L. Jones
7. Greenland
8. Jesse Walker
9. Evenko
10. Hello Darlin’
Honourable mentions: Indecent Xposure, Pop Montreal, Bête Rouge, Ricky Dee, Saintwoods, Big Moe

The skies are blue as ever for returning goldmedalists BSTB, who celebrated a decade of dramatically varied indie concerts this year. Global NTT climb up to second place from fourth last year, in part no doubt on the strength of their well-received Over-Exposed showcases at Jupiter Room. A special shout-out to Sherwin Tija, the comic artist and bon vivant behind inventively themed events like the Strip Spelling Bees and Slow Dance nights.

1. Wanda’s
2. Club 281
3. Chez Paré
4. Kamasutra
5. Super Sexe
6. Solid Gold
7. Café Cleopatra
8. Amazones
9. Downtown
10. Stock
Honourable mentions: Déesses, Kingdom,
Campus, Taboo, Calèche du Sexe, Pussy Corps, Strip
Spelling Bee

Congrats again to Mr. Tija (see above), whose Spelling Bees also earned an honourable mention in this very honourable category (one that’s again dominated by Wanda’s, as per last year).

1. Unity
2. Sky
3. Le Parking
4. Faggity Ass Fridays (Playhouse)
5. Le Stud
6. Drugstore
7. Chez Mado
8. Woof
9. Club Date
10. Cagibi
Honourable mentions: Stock, Stereo, le
Belmont, Aigle Noire, KOX

A nostalgic tip of the leather biker cap for that last honourable mention, the late and lamented KOX, and a “good boy” and a scratch behind the ear for Woof, a new arrival in this category. The name suggests a canine focus but apparently it’s the bears who dig this joint.

1. Drugstore
2. Cagibi
3. Sky Pub
4. Le Parking
5. Meow Mix (la Sala Rossa)
6. Unity
7. Playhouse (Faggity Ass Fridays)
8. Sisters (RIP)
9. Magnolia (RIP)
10. Le Cocktail

1. Mado Lamotte
2. Plastik Patrik
3. Nat King Pole
4. Connie Lingua
5. Marquise
6. Miss Cookies
7. Johnny Forever
8. Miss Butterfly
9. Tracy Trash
10. V.nus
Honourable mentions: Ian Poe Kerr, Kiki Chan,
Cary Tauben, Rod Screwheart

Mado and Patrik, as in previous years, look marvelous in first and second place here, respectively, and deserve it for their tireless efforts to keep this town a freaky kind of chic. Meanwhile, drag king Nat King Pole vaults (sorry, had to) up a notch to third place.

Best Pool Hall

1. Sharx
2. Skratch
3. Boule Noire
4. Fat’s
5. Drugstore
6. Frappé
7. Montreal Pool Room
8. Bifteck
9. Unison
10. Shooters
Honourable mentions: Bogey’s, El Jumanji, Bar St-Laurent, Barfly, Copacabana, Romolo

Best Comedy Bar

1. Comedy Nest
2. Comedy Works
3. Comedy Loft
4. Cabaret Chez Mado
5. Bourbon Street West
Honourable mentins: Mainline Theatre, Théâtre Ste-Catherine

Best Stand-up Comedian

1. Sugar Sammy
2. Joey Elias
3. DeAnne Smith
4. Louis-José Houde
5. Andrew Searles
6. Martin Matte
7. Jon Lajoie
8. Peter Radomski
9. Mike Paterson
10. Anthony Imperioli
Honourable mentions: Andrea Stanford, Franco Taddeo, Faisal Butt, Lydia Lockett, George Hamilton Braithwaite

Best Drug

1. Marijuana
2. Ecstasy
3. Alcohol
4. Cocaine
5. Caffeine
6. Mushrooms
7. Speed
8. LSD
9. Hashish
10. GHB
Honourable mentions: Advil, heroin, salvia, PCP, poppers, DMT, ketamine, Adderall, nicotine, morphine,
paint thinner fumes
Dishonourable mentions: Love, life, happiness, music, laughter, yoga, sunny days, air, bubble tea, friends, fun, jazz

Other than a mild surge in popularity for amphetamines and GHB, this list is point for point and joint for joint the same as last year. Marijuana remains Montreal’s high of choice, referred to by the voting public as cannabis, ganja, grass, reefer, weed, fine herbs, G, 420, da chronic, Mary Jane and Good Ol’ Smokey. Mad props to the one person who voted for 2C-I (aka 2,5-dimethoxy-4-iodophenethylamine)—where the hell’d you score that shit?