Get in gear

Did I ever mention that I have a custom, lime green, six-foot-wheelbase low-rider chopper bicycle with 34-inch long forks and a two-person, shag-upholstered banana seat, with oversized back wheel and mini front wheel? The Discomobile is the perfect companion when fashion grossly outweighs function, and transportation is about getting so hamboned on the journey that the destination eludes recollection.

I tell you this because this Saturday, Aug. 15, an incredible thing is going to occur. In a fortunate scheduling coincidence, a city-wide orgasm of bicycle-themed partying breaks out. You’re likely familiar with Pop Montreal and McAuslan Brewery’s annual bike-in party. Last year’s theme at Terrasse St-Ambroise (5080 St-Ambroise) was reggae, and Bollywood the year before. This year, to my delight, the theme is Italo disco, that wacky, wonderful, turn-of-the-’80s Euro hybrid of club disco and new wave. Rare groove connoisseur Dave Shaw, eclectic no-wave/indie dance impresario Why, Alex, Why?, inimitable pop sophist Jay Watts III and New York City’s Bethany Benzur are your DJs for the evening, which features a screening of Michelangelo Antonioni’s 1966 movie Blowup. Film at dusk, dance till dawn.

But that’s not all! The very same evening, the Bicycle Film Festival will be screening a near-endless series of bike-themed short films at the NFB from 6 p.m. onward, followed by an afterparty at Bikurious, the lesbian-haircut bike shop at 1757 Amherst.

But wait! There’s more! All that biking, drinking, dancing, gay haircutting and movie watching will leave you hungry for some chain-greasy burgers. Fear not, for the Ugly Ass Bikes indoor ramp park will be hosting a BBQ from 5–10 p.m. at 1935 de l’Église, just off the Lachine Canal, right on your way to the Terrasse St-Ambroise. They’ll have ramps out for jibs and grills out for ribs. If you spot the Discomobile en route, make sure to roll by and say hi!

I ONCE BIKED ACROSS CANADA… jack.oatmon@gmail.com