Bye-bye bedbugs

Tiny pests are having a big impact and
need to be stopped, says exterminator

by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Debbie Barker

Age: 53

Occupation: Exterminator

Bio: This no-nonsense Ahuntsic resident had been selling automobiles for 31 years, doing non-paying extermination gigs on the side simply “for fun and pleasure just because I loved it so much.” Recognizing a little over eight years ago that her heart lay with killing vermin, she got into the business full-time and has since become the local exterminator to turn to should bedbugs be making your life a living hell. Figuring she works at least 75 hours a week, Debbie says when she ain’t out killin’ she’s spending at least five hours a day, every day, researching bugs on the Internet. “For example, I’ll study certain ants in Costa Rica right now because sooner or later all these things find their way to Quebec. Like, now we have those American cockroaches, those really big ones, here in Montreal, where traditionally we’ve only had the smaller German cockroaches. We never thought they’d get up here, but here they are.”

What she loves so much about killing God’s less glamorous creatures: “I don’t love killing them. We build our houses upon their homes and then wonder why they got into our house. But I see how they traumatize people. I spoke with a girl yesterday who was so traumatized by bedbugs that she slept in the bathtub all night, she was so afraid.”

Is the bedbug situation in Montreal getting better or worse? Worse. “There’s an infestation across the planet now. It’s huge. More people are travelling, and the more people travel, the more bedbugs travel—in people’s luggage.”

Something making the local bedbug situation worse: “Landlords don’t always want to pay to have them exterminated because you, say, went to France and brought them back with you. So what people do is, they move, thinking they’re leaving the bedbugs behind, but really they are just bringing them into their next apartment buildings. And they’re always coming with you—always.”

Is there any way to get rid of them without forking over to hire a pro? “You’ll never get rid of them yourself. Even most professional exterminators can’t get a handle on these creatures. But I have a 99.9 per cent record of getting rid of them on my first visit—with a one year warranty too.” Contact her via debbieexpert@gmail.com or (514) 770-0551.

Something that “disgusts” her: Glue traps for rodents. “They should be illegal, it’s horrifying. The creatures just stand there until they die. I won’t use cruel methods. I love animals. I do animal control too, you know. Relocating animals into the wild and things like that.”

Something Debbie insists you never need do should the bedbugs start biting: Throw out all your furniture. “But people do it all the time, even when they don’t have money to buy replacements. It breaks my heart sometimes.”

Something else Debbie says you should never do: Bring decent-looking furniture that’s been left on the street into your home. “Fifty per cent of the time or more it’s full of nests.”

Last book read: The Bourne Identity, by Robert Ludlum.

Musical preferences: Bee Gees, Paul McCartney, Nat King Cole.

Words of wisdom: “If you can’t eat it or poke it, piss on it.”

Comments: dimwit@hdot.net