F Hey, I wanna know if I’m the only one who thought that that Dropkick Murphys show at the Metropolis sucked ROYAL ASS. I’ve never seen them play so pathetically. The sound was shit and the show started at, like, 7 p.m. on a Saturday night!? What are we, in kindergarten? And as the ultimate insult, they didn’t even come on for an encore. Unreal. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, what’s up Rant Line™? This is Rugged Intellect. I saw the message from Scoop Jackson and I just wanted to say thanks for drawing some attention to what I’m doing. The Montreal hip hop scene is burgeoning full of talent, we just need the proper exposure to get out there and a lot more unity between the artists. It’s a CRAP BUCKET because we don’t really have many resources, since Quebec is, uh, you know, a francophone province. But if we stick together and keep doing what we do, stuff will pop off, you know? On that note, I just want to give a big shout out to everybody in Montreal doing their thing, mainly my close friend, Narcissist, with his group Euphrates, rest in peace to Nofy Fannan, and Loe Pesci and Paco and Pesh, and ICM Records, all the DJs, all the club promoters, Fat Sak, you know. So keep doing your thing and hey, if you see me, just say “what’s up?” All right, peace. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, this is in response to the rant about Rugged Intellect and Kool G Rap and to some degree the review of the Bless record by Scott C. There are definitely good things on all fronts for Montreal’s hip hop community. But it needs to be noted that record label connections are what gets these bigger name artists on records—they get PAID. It’s great that these MCs are able to foster these relationships, but you have to face the facts that it’s about a pay cheque. With the right label person talking to the other right label person, these collaborations can be made to happen. I don’t know if that’s the case for either of these records, but I’m inclined to think that way. Nonetheless, it’s great for both MCs, for both acts, and for anybody who can build those bridges it’s a good thing. But that’s something that needs to be understood. That’s my bit, peace. [BLEEP!]

F To the dude who doesn’t know what an EMO is. Let me name a couple. There’s Avril Lavigne, Kelly Osbourne, and all those Hollywood bitches who like to be hardcore. An emo is a wannabe, stuck up somewhere between candy raving, Iggy Pop and melted creamsicles. They all have bad hair and hang out at the Foufounes Électriques on Thursday nights. If you look close enough at them, they also look like fucking marshmallows. [BLEEP!]

M This is El diablo Nero. Fuck you fucking hardcore kids who think that fucking Christianity is fashionable and all go to church in big packs and wear all the same fucking NAIL POLISH and buy each other fucking black hair dye and see whose hair is longer, you or your girlfriend’s, but only in the front, not in the back because that wouldn’t be cool. Fuck you, fuck Blessed by a Broken Heart, fuck your mother. [BLEEP!]

M If the United States wants new ways of torturing the Taliban, they must send Q92, Mix96 and all the fucking Montreal radio stations to Afghanistan. Now that’s what I call torture. Torture, torture, torture! Q92, Mix96, oh my God! [BLEEP!]

M Hey! I’m a musician and I love YELPING and WEIRD NOISES as much as anybody, but CBC Radio Two at three o’clock in the morning—I’m sick of it! Every night I turn on my radio and it sounds like an orgy between a horse, Elvis fucking impersonators and a pterodactyl. There are lots of local bands and underground bands from all over that are trying so hard and they just wish they could get some material on the radio, let alone a whole performance piece. I’m fucking fed up! I’m sorry, but somebody has got to do something about CBC Radio Two, because money’s being wasted here. [BLEEP!]

M [Icebergs can be heard “singing” in background] Yo, don’t forget about the icebergs! People are always thinking about the surface of things, but the iceberg is a prime example of shit hidden underneath. Keep that in mind and world peace will happen soon. Good night. [BLEEP!]

M Okay, here’s my rant—men should not eat BANANAS in public. If you choose to eat a banana, please, do not peel it and eat it like you’re sucking on a knob. Break the banana off with your fingers and place it in your mouth. Do not, I repeat, do not open your mouth and lower it down on the banana to bite it! I hope the guy on the metro who was eating the banana is reading this. That’s my rant, peace out. [BLEEP!]

F I just want to give a heads up to let everyone know that everybody who lives in the Laurier metro area, exit Laurier, has the SWEETEST asses in Montreal because our escalator has been down for three-and-a-half months and we’ve all been doing those stairs. Hard asses!! [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum