| The art of the insult
>> A friendly chat with the king of the put-down, Don Rickles by RUPERT BOTTENBERG
Mirror: Hello, Mr. Rickles. Can I call you Don? Don Rickles: Sure, you can call me whatever you like. M: Can I call you Susan? DR: Well, if I switch, but for now, just call me Don. M: Don, I pride myself on my ability to dish out a zinger at the drop of a hat. I'd never have the guts to do so on stage, though. How did you get started on the glorious path to your present status of "King of the Put-down"? DR: Well, that's a long story, but to condense it: years ago, when I was a very young man, I couldn't tell jokes too well and did bad impressions like a million other comedians. I found over a period of years of standing on the stage and not getting good results, I started to work off the top of my head and make fun of my surroundings, make fun of ethnic backgrounds, and make fun of people in the audience. Over a lot of years it all came together and became a performance. It became a thing where I was different, which I pride myself in. Being different is, I believe, what keeps you where you are. It keeps you going, and it's worked for me. M: It's a lot like jazz, isn't it? Improvising on the spot... DR: Well, yeah, and after a while, this improvisation, as you said--that's a good word for it--becomes a performance, with a beginning, a middle and an ending. And every night my shows, I must say, do change to a degree, five per cent, maybe. But over the years of doing what I do, it always turns out different, because I'm dealing with people and my surroundings a lot. M: I would imagine that people who come to a Don Rickles performance know what they're getting themselves into... DR: Well, unless they've been hiding under a rock or something, I'd like to think so. Most people know, when they see a Don Rickles show, what it's about... that we're making fun of life itself. M: Any horror stories about people who didn't "get the joke," so to speak? DR: No, and if they do... I've always believed, Rupert, that anything I've ever done, I've done in fun and I've found it funny, and if I've found it funny and they don't, well... it's their problem. I always like to think that whatever you do, you gotta believe in it, and if you don't, you're a damn fool. M: So you don't regret any of the cracks you've made. DR: No, I don't. M: But have you ever made any where you later said to yourself, "Wow, I can't believe I pulled that one off. That was really good." DR: Of course, I think we all do that in life. Sure. I've said things to prominent people, whether they're presidents of the United States or the great Frank Sinatra, rest his soul. But I've said it to most everyone I can think of in this business who was of importance. I've said what they might consider outrageous, but by standards today, I don't do the things the young people do, and more power to them. When people ask me what do I think of them, I say more power to them. I think they're great if they can last almost 40 years, as I have. M: You ever get any good comebacks from the crowd? DR: No, those things don't happen anymore. When I first started out, Rupert, as a young man, in striptease joints--that's what we called them in those days--we'd have about six or seven exotic dancers and maybe three comedians, in a rotating order. Those were tough joints. In those days it was the thing to do to yell up at the comedian. But in the places I've been fortunate enough to work in over many, many years, with reputations, people don't do that unless there's some guy who's outrageously drunk or ridiculous. M: Since you mentioned the younger comedians, are there any taboo topics you won't touch? DR: Off the top of my head, if somebody's mentally--god forbid--ill, or something like that... they don't usually come to shows. If somebody's... I really have to size up the situation, you know what I'm saying? I couldn't say off the top of my head that there's a taboo thing. I have great instincts, and when it's before me I judge then. But I can't say way out in front what my reaction would be. M: Let's take a sharp right turn here... what's this business about you being in a Jackie Chan film? DR: Who told you that? M: I read it somewhere... DR: Well, it's just at the very early talking stage... (laughs) I'm surprised you even knew that. M: I'm a huge Jackie Chan fan. DR: Are you really? The director is very fond of my work and he was interested, and we're only up to that. So it's a long way off. M: Jackie Chan's biggest influences are comedians. He draws more from Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton than Bruce Lee. It would be a lot of fun to see you guys playing the verbal humour off the physical humour. DR: Yeah, it would be! M: Now, I've seen you in Casino, heard you in Toy Story, but I gotta say, my favourite film that I've seen you in is Innocent Blood. DR: Really! M: That crazy vampire film. DR: Aw, yeah, John Landis. Yeah, we did that in Pittsburgh a long time ago. M: Did you enjoy doing that film? DR: Oh, yeah, except it was really cold... it was in Pittsburgh and we did it outdoors. I was a little disappointed that the picture didn't do more than what it did. But it was an outrageous kinda thing and it was a lot of fun to do. It was hard work, though, with that Dracula stuff, that monster stuff we had to put on, it was very tedious. But John Landis is a good director, and we had a lot of fun doing it. M: I'm having some girl trouble these days, and I was wondering if you had any advice on affairs of the heart. DR: How old are you? M: I'm 26. DR: Well, you can't sit in the back of the car, you gotta get a hotel room (laughs). You can't sit in the balcony of the movies. Listen, Rupert, don't have any concern. I was 38 years old and never married. And I'm married to a woman now for 33 years, the same one, and she's married to me and I'm the same guy and she's the same lady. So there's hope for all of us. Never give up. M: Well, Don, I gotta tell you, I really think that put-down humour is about the highest and most noble form of human communication. DR: Really. That's very nice of you. M: Yeah, right after mime and macramé. Don Rickles at Théâtre St-Denis, Thursday, July 23, 7:30pm, $15.95-$38.50+tax |
Any shmoe can dish out insults behind his target's back. But it takes a consummate pro (or an out-of-control drunk) to dish it out face to face. Especially when your patsies are heads of state or the Chairman of the Board. When it comes to put-down humour, there is no more honoured name than that of Don Rickles, enough of a wise guy to sass Sinatra and enough of a gentleman to let this young smartass have the last word.