Build your own conspiracy theory

>> A diabolical scheme

pieced together by Philip Preville

Once upon a time, conspiracy theories were considered to be nothing more than the mad ravings of paranoid schizophrenics and a select group of academics. Today, the conspiracy mindset has become a prominent part of political culture and can be found at all points on the political spectrum: those on the right ("governments control people's lives"), those on the left ("corporate capitalists control people's lives") and those who don't even register on the scale ("aliens control governments, corporate capitalists and our lives").

Still, the question remains: how do Canada and Quebec fit into the plan? Some skeptics would say there is no local connection, but with a browse through the day's newspapers and a minor stretch of the imagination, you too can conjure up the local links in the diabolical plan for world domination. With the help of Jeff Koftinoff's Canadian Conspiracy Pages (www.turnercom.com/jdk/canal.html) and some other "inside sources," the Mirror has mapped out one potential reality for you below.

CIA >>Top secret American intelligence and counter-intelligence agency, formerly headed by George Bush, which handles all internal and international espionage for the U.S. government (ostensibly, of course; much of the intelligence gathered by the CIA does not reach the President). Known to have formed and financed revolutionary and counter-revolutionary groups in various countries.

Lucien Bouchard >> Neoconservative "transnational bankers' man," possibly dispatched by the CIA (with Mulroney's blessing, of course; their public "rift" is just for show) to lead Quebec's separatist movement and to rid said -movement of any social-democratic leanings. The CIA requires the separatist movement to succeed in order to facilitate the absorption of Canada into the U.S.

Hydro-Québec >> Created in the 1960s by René Lévesque, who later went onto lead the (CIA-sponsored?) separatist movement. Hydro has become the province's "Frankenstein monster": they created it, and now it runs the show. Quebec City is using the deficit as an excuse to deregulate the energy industry; is Hydro (which denies it has been infiltrated by the Solar Temple Cult) serving as Quebec's means of finally integrating the province's economy with that of the U.S.?

One World Government >> Scheme also known as New World Order ("Novus Ordo Seclorum" on the U.S. dollar bill), possibly facilitated by CIA intelligence-gathering and by top secret negotiations for the Multilateral Agreement on Investment, or MAI. Historical note: recently discovered U.S. government documents show that the government of former Quebec separatist leader and Hydro-Québec creator René Lévesque repeatedly approached U.S. officials about the prospect of Quebec joining the U.S.

Bilderberg Group >> Cabal of government leaders and multimillionaires considered by some "experts" to be a "system of secret government." Reportedly includes many free-trade cheerleaders such as Canadians Conrad Black (who, according to a well-placed source, also supports American annexation of Canada), Brian Mulroney, Ted Rogers and Paul Martin, as well as a number of American, European and Japanese captains of industry. Met in Toronto in 1996; exposed by the Toronto Star.

Brian Mulroney >> Former Prime Minister, known for singing in public with Ronald Reagan, fishing with George Bush (both former U.S. presidents; coincidence?) and flirting with separatists. U.S. government records show that the CIA maintained a relationship with a Canadian named Brian Mulroney, then in his 30s, in the late 1960s.

Free trade >> Engineered by the government of Brian Mulroney and negotiated by alleged Freemason Simon Reisman (who also headed the "Grand Canal" project to divert water from James Bay into the U.S.), designed to integrate entire North American economy under U.S. control. Has resulted in the loss of thousands of Canadian jobs, yet continues to receive the support of a number of wealthy businessmen.

U.S. currency >> The raison d'être of both free trade and energy deregulation, it is also the primary tool for the total integration of the global economy. (The "Eurodollar" to be used by the EEC, often touted as new competition for the U.S. greenback, is in fact a mere stepping stone which wipes out all European currencies.) Also sports the eyeball pyramid, emblem of the Freemasons.

Freemasons >> An international fraternity shrouded in secrecy. Eyeball pyramid emblem is curious, because pyramids predate Freemasonry by centuries. Scientists are still at odds over whether the pyramids could possibly have been made with solely human technology.

Aliens >> The two key ingredients of all conspiracy theories are 1) the belief that orders are being given by outsiders and 2) the conviction that local agents/minions are carrying out those orders. Think about it: why does American currency display an emblem of an ancient, mysterious and foreign icon that could not have been built by humans? Does the Solar Temple Cult, which believes its members will all be transported to the planet Sirius, know something the rest of us don't? Whose interests would a one-world government really serve anyway? And why is this map of connections shaped like a pentagram? Maybe Bob Larson is right after all.