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Threesome dreamin’

Dear Sasha, I’ve been married for 16 great years. My wife and I talk dirty and have great sex. I wanna take it one step further and have a threesome. Some days she’s okay with the idea and other times she says no. How do I make this happen without her getting upset? She has a hard time seeing me with another women for some reason. Looking forward to your response.

—Vexmann

Dear Vexmann, The thing you do not want to do is spring a threesome on your unsuspecting wife. Something you may have noticed when you cruise escort websites and casual sex profiles is that those who are

open to group sex are exigent about NOT being a birthday or anniversary surprise for an unwitting wife. This comes from experience, Vex. An escort friend who specializes in appointments with couples says this: “It sounds from his letter that he and his wife are not on the same page about having a threesome. It also sounds like his idea of a threesome is him being with two women and not much is said about his

wife’s motives for a threesome or how he sees her enjoying it. Without that info it’s hard to give much advice. I wouldn’t be surprised if when they are dirty talking during sex threesomes sound very sexy, but when not naked and consummating that it’s not a turn-on. This is soooo common. There are a bunch of things in my ‘spank bank’ that I would never actually want to do. It can be hard to accept but just because you think it, doesn’t mean you have to do it. Regardless, it rarely goes as you imagine it to be.”

Something that might help you understand why this might be challenging for your wife is to think of something you might find sexually demanding and imagine how you would feel if your wife tried to talk you into it.

“If she does decide this is something she actually wants then choosing someone to join them is tricky,” my escort friend continues. “The single female who wants in on a couple’s fun is often called a uni­corn in swinger circles because they do not exist or at least are a rare creature. Most women swing as part of a couple. From my super swinger friends’ experiences the few single ladies out there often bring a bunch of trouble with them. What happens when the gal gets a boyfriend? Will you let your wife return the favour and sleep with them? What if she wants to squeeze in on your relationship, be it with you, her or both of you? I knew one gal who wanted a threesome relationship, not just action in the sack, and it caused the couple a lot of grief to manage all of the extras that came along with the nights of fun. From what I hear from couples—especially wives—who contact me on a professional basis, they have considered this type of complication and go with a pro to avoid it. They get it that they want fantasy sex.”


Dear Sasha, I’m wondering if you could help me? I’m a married, closeted bi bottom male. My wife has no idea. I also enjoy cross-dressing. But I’ve yet to be with a man or a woman fully dressed. I can­not fully shave or my wife will wonder what’s happening. I know when I do dress I look pretty sexy. But I know the hair is a turn off. Any suggestions?

—Ian/Rachel

Dear Ian/Rachel, Take up swimming or cycling and tell you wife you’re shaving for athletic reasons. This seems to be a very popular excuse. Being honest with a partner about your desires is ideal, but if this is just an impossible prospect, there are ways to conceal body hair without shaving. Stockings that ice skaters or dancers wear

smooth out the legs and cover any hair or blemishes. Tops that cover chest hair are easy enough to find. You can look slutty from the waist down (sorry to assume that you want to look slutty, but I’ve met very few cross-dressers whose end goal wasn’t to look like a mid-range hooker). A fitted turtleneck and a miniskirt with the stockings mentioned above is an option.http://bit.ly/AoFTVs offers some good advice, all of it hoodwinking, sleight of hand stuff but hey, a compulsion isn’t easy to live with, and sometimes you just got to get what you want by being sneaky.