Man-machine music

Toronto band the New Deal challenge DJs with their live progressive breakbeat house

by CHRIS YURKIW

Before I can even toss my first question at Darren Shearer, drummer of the New Deal, he feels obliged to make a statement of intent, or disintent, which may or may not be inspired by the comments of others about his band–a band that aspires to bring “the vibe and flow of spinning records back to live instruments.”

“We’re by no means dissing DJs,” says Shearer, “but we do feel that we bring more to the table than a DJ can.” And “table” certainly …

Scroll over Beethoven

Video Games Live is not trying to kill the symphony. Quite the opposite, in fact. The hugely successful, American-based video-game-music-playing concert series—touring internationally since 2005 and finally making its first visit to Montreal this week—is trying to get everyone excited about orchestras again. It just so happens this orchestra will be playing the collected works of Mario instead of Mozart.

“Our goal from the beginning was to show the world, not just the hardcore gamer, how culturally significant and artistic video games have become,” says Video Games Live co-creator and host Tommy Tallarico, a video game composer for almost 300 …

She’s so unusual

After the church gig, the sex change, the freak show and the bear costume, NYC’s Baby Dee is at last recognized for her intense and original talent

Let’s get this straight right away—Baby Dee is not your average girl. For starters, she came into the world sporting male genitals, long ago tossed into some medical waste bin somewhere, and launched her post-religious musical career as a transgendered street performer playing flawless harp in New York’s Central Park, all dressed up in a bear costume. Moreover, she’s worked as a freak in various sideshows around the world, including one lengthy stretch …

My man is boring me to tears

Dear Sasha, I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

I have an amazing man, who loves me and is very dedicated and faithful, hardworking and a good father to his son. He’s very set in his ways, likes what he likes and is very unwilling to change. This bodes well for his dedication to me, and I find that immensely comforting and love him dearly for it.

But there’s a problem. I’m bored to tears! The routine is suffocating me. I’ve tried to bring it up with him, but he just gets upset and takes it personally. No …

Threesomes and scat

Dear Sasha, My awesome wife of 10-plus years wants to sleep with women—correction, wants us to sleep with women. This makes both of us hot and bothered, and we’re going to try a threesome. More so, my gal wants us to hire an escort, which I’m also cool with.

We’re trying to educate ourselves on the sex trade and have been looking at many local escort websites, but don’t know how to determine if a service provider is good, or more specifically, doesn’t exploit vulnerable and marginalized women. We want our escort to be a willing, consenting professional. Any tips …

Sexless and suffering

Dear Sasha, My wife and I are in our 20s. We’ve been married for about a year and a half and have been together off and on since 2005. I love her very much, but I’m not getting what I need out of this relationship: sex. She’s never been a sex maniac but these days things are becoming extreme. Sex is so important to me physically and mentally that without it I’ve noticed that all aspects of my life suffer. I become an unhappy, depressed and boring person, my confidence is shot and I feel like a perverted fiend.

I …

It’s a date

Dear Sasha, A few years ago, I hired a dating coach. We met at a pub, we chatted for a while for him to get to know me then he gave me feedback. This was followed up with an e-mail providing a written guide on how to date. His advice basically came down to suggestions on wardrobe and how to act. The dating advice was a toned down version of what Pick-Up Artists hawk on their websites. I didn’t find the expe­rience too useful, because it was mostly canned advice.

I finally realized that what I need is the blunt …

Bleaching your butthole

Dear Sasha, I enjoy anal sex, but I dislike my brownish coloured winky. (I hate the term asshole, it rings badly in my ears, actually I don’t like the term “hole” to describe a mouth, pussy or ass, it sounds crude!!) Anyway that’s beside the point. I want to light­en things up and have been out of luck!

Please don’t tell me to accept it. The truth is I have a thing with being very clean. I shower to feel fresh in the morning, shower before bed to feel fresh, if I workout I shower afterwards, and in the summer …

Threesome dreamin’

Dear Sasha, I’ve been married for 16 great years. My wife and I talk dirty and have great sex. I wanna take it one step further and have a threesome. Some days she’s okay with the idea and other times she says no. How do I make this happen without her getting upset? She has a hard time seeing me with another women for some reason. Looking forward to your response.

—Vexmann

Dear Vexmann, The thing you do not want to do is spring a threesome on your unsuspecting wife. Something you may have noticed when you cruise escort websites …

Looking for a rump to thump

Dear Sasha, I was told that maybe you could help me. I’m interested in spanking and would like to spank a girl who consents to being spanked. Are there any places where I could meet someone who would like to be spanked or has a fetish such as this?

—Paul

Dear Paul, I don’t know if you’ve heard of this thing called “the Internet.” All you have to do is type in the words of what you want and you can have it. Type in “knitting with dog hair” for exam­ple. You’ll find a book that shows you how to …