home Dear Sasha My man is boring me to tears

My man is boring me to tears

Dear Sasha, I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

I have an amazing man, who loves me and is very dedicated and faithful, hardworking and a good father to his son. He’s very set in his ways, likes what he likes and is very unwilling to change. This bodes well for his dedication to me, and I find that immensely comforting and love him dearly for it.

But there’s a problem. I’m bored to tears! The routine is suffocating me. I’ve tried to bring it up with him, but he just gets upset and takes it personally. No matter how gently I put it, he sees things as perfect and can’t understand why I would want to change things. This is very evident in a general lack of romance, as well as our sex life. It’s meat and potatoes and I’m going out of my mind.

I’ve tried introducing some sexy e-mails at work—no. Dirty talk in bed—no. Asking him to buy me lingerie so I know what turns him on—no. I don’t understand what happened. When we first got together he couldn’t keep his hands off me, and he was ravenous to try new things with me. Now if I deviate from the norm even a little he’s stressed about it for days. This is making me extremely unhappy with a person that ultimately is a great guy, and I should feel lucky to have.

—Help!

Dear Help, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you, my dear. You have a man who won’t do anything you want to do and, to make matters worse you are under the misguided impression that because he’ll never leave you, this is somehow okay. Basically he’s dedicated to remaining with you and insuring that none of your needs are ever met. In some circles, people call that torture. Like so many folks in traditional relationships, you’ve learned to prioritize commitment over mutual satisfaction and happiness. But what is the value of commitment if its most marked effect on your life is a total erasure of your erotic self-worth? Guess what people hate more than almost anything, Help? Change. Change means discomfort, challenge and looking inward. Change means being honest with your partner. Change means that simply being dedicated to someone isn’t good enough. It means putting that dedication to the test.


Dear Sasha, I’m a 63-year-old man and I’m trying to find an escort to go and see. I’ve contacted a few ladies and asked if they would lower their prices because I’m new and also on a budget. I have $200 to spend for an hour or more time. I haven’t had any response yet. What can I do?

—Randy

Dear Randy,

Let me break things down for you so you understand the nuts and bolts of some service providers’ rates:

1.        Hotel room or in-call rental: $50 to $150

2.        Taxi to and from location, money allotted for preparation (pedicure, hair, new stockings, protection, etc.): $50 to $150 With 200 dollars, you really only have enough to cover an independent escort’s basic expenses. Because you’re an inexperienced hobbyist, I would suggest you either see someone who has lower rates (check providers at in-calls who do half hours) or save some money and see someone whose rates reflect their expenses and service. Please do yourself a huge favour though, and never barter with a paid companion over her rates. Not only is it deeply insulting (I mean it, it is con­sidered one of the top five offenses within the industry), but if you are pushy and rude, your e-mail and contact information might well be shared within a coven-like network of very savvy women. And then you’ll forever be known as Discount Randy. Or something equally unflattering.

My best advice is to try to find someone who advertises within your budget and go with them.