Dear Sasha, A few years ago, I hired a dating coach. We met at a pub, we chatted for a while for him to get to know me then he gave me feedback. This was followed up with an e-mail providing a written guide on how to date. His advice basically came down to suggestions on wardrobe and how to act. The dating advice was a toned down version of what Pick-Up Artists hawk on their websites. I didn’t find the experience too useful, because it was mostly canned advice.
I finally realized that what I need is the blunt truth: what is it about me and what am I projecting? It’s unhelpful to hear from friends and family that I’m fine and that I have positive qualities, because no one really wants to give feedback that can be construed as negative. Also, people who know me see things differently than those that don’t know me well.
Now I’m at that point where I’m interested again in getting feedback about what women see in me when they meet me for the very first time. It might help in my future dating, but more so, I’m now realistic about how this can be helpful: that I’m at a point to be able to appreciate what any such feedback means in the greater scheme of my life.
So my question is this: can I hire you for such a feedback session? The reason I’m proposing this is because I trust your intuition and honesty after reading your column for a while now. It’s also better to get this from a woman, than from a man—how could men have any clue about a woman’s perspective? This is outside of what you normally do, but I thought I’d ask.
This is an interesting proposition. How would this play out? Would you pay me to go out on a date wherein I itemize, without mercy, your unappealing qualities?
I can tell you straight off that if you’re not getting attention from women it may be because you’re boring. I have met very few people who succeeded in overcoming this devastating quality so we might have a bit of work ahead of us.
In other words, I’ll do it. I won’t be mean but I will be honest. And I’ll do my best to be helpful in finding you solutions. I’m very curious about this. I never really get to help people in person and I’m getting tired of sitting behind this keyboard with very little personal contact with readers other than the awkward, “Are you Sasha?” then the surreal space afterwards where I have someone talk to me like Sasha is even my real name.
Get in touch with me here, Sam, and we’ll set something up.
Dear Sasha, I’m in a bit of a pickle. I have organized two sex dates with two men on the same day. One of them is someone I don’t see often because he comes into town very rarely and the other, well, he’s new but I’m really looking forward to seeing him. Let’s just say I’m not going to break either date, nor do I see being able to put them on different dates.
I’ve made no promises to either of these gentlemen—I’m single, slutty and unstoppable but I think it’s tacky going from one date to the other with a pussy smelling like latex. Both of these fellows are orally inclined and I think it might dampen the action if I smell like rubber for Mr. Two. Any tips on getting rid of the tell tale odour?
Yes, that smell certainly can linger, can’t it?
Try using condoms that aren’t latex. You have a few options when it comes to materials but polyurethane and polyisoprene are your best bets for STI protection. Polyisoprene, the more recent of the two, is more elastic that polyurethane.
You may also try these: bit.ly/z90gaF. These condoms by Crown are made of latex but have no latex odour.
And just a note: Canadian sex educator and all around gem of a guy Cory Silverberg has written a kids book about sex. Cory is funding the project through Kickstarter kck.st/Aqm1KG. Please check it out!