Dear Sasha: First we shared our beds, then we shared our toys, and then we shared our erotica. Which didn't seem like a big step, all other things being equal, except that my bedside table stash contained the dark Victorian S&M novel Disciplining Jane.

Jane, our heroine, endures any number of imaginative floggings, canings and birchings, which is good clean fun as far as I'm concerned, and also a "figging," or ginger butt plug, for want of a better word.

To make a long story short, the boy has made it clear that there's a good-sized chunk of ginger in his kitchen with my name on it, if I'll only say the word. What I guess I'd like to know is - is it safe? How intense is it, really? Has anyone around here tried this sort of thing? » GHO

Dear GHO,
Naturopathic doctor Michelle Bodner offered a thorough health perspective: "Ginger is an herb that contains volatile oils with rubifacient properties," she said. "This means it reddens and irritates the skin or tissue it is applied to. The mucous membranes are particularly sensitive." Though Dr. Bodner said she realizes this may be the entire point of a ginger butt plug, she noted: "The area would continue to be irritated and red after the ginger has been removed, due to lingering volatile oils. It would be very difficult to remove or wash off these oils once applied. So the area could be quite irritated and may have a chemical-type burn if the ginger were applied for a very long time."

If you do choose to go through with the figging, Dr. Bodner said: "Ginger is otherwise a very gentle herb so it's unlikely to cause any systemic problems. In the short term, if left in too long she could get a nasty burn and be uncomfortable for a few days after, so I'd recommend to only use it for a few seconds to minutes initially."

As it turns out, figging is all the go with the dirty kids of the dark sex world. At www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/figging.htm, you'll find an article by Master Michael on the practice, as well as tips on how to insert a smaller version into the male urethra.

At www.figging.com, you'll find references to a Czech porn featuring figging, with photos showing how to properly whittle the ginger and historical sources on the practice.

Dear Sasha: I'm 24 years old, and lost my entire glans (head of penis) in a botched circumcision shortly after I was born. Unfortunately, I was left with my balls, so I still have a sex drive to deal with. My problem is twofold: I can't come, and I can't get anyone to stick around and help me try to come. Can you suggest any special techniques for someone in my condition? » Mutilated and Comeless

Dear M & C,
Kink may not be your cup of tea, but if I were looking for more receptive people to share with, this would be the community I would seek out. Kinksters are often expressive folks accustomed to negotiating needs, boundaries and sexual politics, with an added focus around forms of sexual pleasure that don't revolve around the genitals. I would guess your mutilation would not be an unusual topic, at least not one that couldn't be worked around. This is not to say that you won't meet self-obsessed delusional women with made-up medieval princess names at SM parties and in chat rooms, but it's less likely they'll be prissy or freaked out about your dick.

Lawrence Barichello is the executive director of Intact (www.intact.ca), a group that collects and distributes information about circumcision. He hasn't had much luck finding groups that deal specifically with this (though he claims there was one in the past), but says you may find it therapeutic to start one yourself.

There are many online groups that discuss foreskin restoration. You may not find them entirely helpful since they are dealing with a different issue, but any foreskin restoration or anti-circumcision group, given the exigency that prevails among people who are angry over needless loss, might offer you some consolation and understanding. Another I would recommend contacting is www.infocirc.org.

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