by GABRIEL MORENCY

"To you from failing hands we throw the torch; be yours to hold it high."

Inspirational words, if properly interpreted. With the Olympic Games set to begin on Friday, the International Olympic Committee may as well decide to put its own spin on John McCrae's "In Flanders Fields" and make "To you with greedy hands we pass the torch" their official slogan. If it doesn't, it should. Never has there been as much negativity and skepticism about an Olympics that has yet to begin - no mean feat, considering the scandal that preceded the Salt Lake City, Utah, Bought-with-Hookers Games.

Slow stadium construction and slower ticket sales are the least of the problems for an Olympics that has sunk to a new low as far as product placement and corporate tie-ins are concerned. Not only will security forces be on alert for any potential terrorist attacks, they will also be on hand "guarding" against the evils of Pepsi and Burger King. Both will be banned at all Olympic sites and venues, as both Coke and McDonald's will have to be good enough for those sophisticated types who travel halfway around the world to eat at Mickey D's. Surprisingly enough, fans attending the Games will not have to remove any footwear and clothing that hasn't been made by official sponsor Adidas, as the athletes must if they want to participate in any medal ceremony. Bare feet or shirtless will not be an option either, as medal-winning athletes will be given an Adidas "podium kit" in which to celebrate their newfound glory, while Visa credit card holders cheer them on.

I'm not a marketing genius, but with as many unsold tickets as they have left in Athens, maybe they shouldn't have excluded all credit card purchases that weren't made with official sponsor Visa. People are probably more inclined to purchase their tickets on credit than put down 150 bucks cash to watch two dudes they've never heard of play ping-pong!

The over-the-top product placement has even found its way into the bedrooms of the Olympic Village, as condom maker Durex will distribute over 130,000 free condoms to any athlete looking to score off the field. And while Canada only won 14 medals at the last summer games in Sydney, they were gold medal winners as far as "getting some" goes - a poll among athletes put Canadian and Australian Olympians as the most promiscuous. For shame. Must be the beer.

As anyone who has reached the top of their field knows (Ben Mulroney excluded), sacrifices must be made. Ours will be enduring countless articles from overpaid and under-appreciative columnists (hello, Jackass Fraud) who will no doubt complain that the shuttle that takes them from their four-star hotels to the venues was 10 minutes late or, God forbid, didn't have air conditioning. Our taxpaying dollars, about 16 million of them, have not only been invested in the athletes themselves, but also in sending Brian Williams and crew to wax poetic about the hopes and dreams of a small-town Ontario boy going for the gold. And while the CBC's Ron MacLean and Scott Russell have about as much personality as a piece of Manitoba wheat, at least we won't have put up with Rob freaking Faulds!

Although the Olympics do represent so much of what is wrong with the world of "amateur" sport, at least they are not politically correct. EPO, THG, LSD and everything in-between may be prohibited, but for the first time transgender athletes are allowed to participate. I thought that was what the Gay Games were for, but once again, maybe it's just me. Let the Games begin!

Pigskin Prognosticator

The NFL's pre-season has begun and there is no better way to prep and build your bank account for the upcoming season than paying close attention to what transpires in the next few weeks. For those of you looking to lay it down, keep an eye on each club's positional battles and play on teams who have more players playing for their jobs. Veteran teams with high expectations tend to take it slow during the exhibition schedule.

Thursday, Aug. 12
Toronto (+71/2) at Montreal: Toronto
Atlanta (+31/2) at Baltimore: Baltimore

Friday, Aug. 13
Philadelphia (+31/2) at New England: Philadelphia

Shameless Plug
Road Rage 9, live at the Grand Bayou (12 Rachel W.), Thursday, Aug. 12.

Sports Rage with Gabriel Morency is vented weeknights 11 p.m.-2 a.m. on TEAM 990 AM. This column appears bi-weekly. Comments: sportsrage@team990.com