L.A. Lar: Larry David may be television's most irascible jerk, but his neurotic brain has spawned an entire language, first on Seinfeld and now on Curb Your Enthusiasm. We all know you want to talk like Larry David - well, now you can, thanks to Larry's Lexicon, compiled by the good folks at Showcase Television. Learn all about tip profilers, candy bilkers, tea bagging and the me first policy at www.showcase.ca/curb3/lexicon/.

Spitting image: Ever want to show people on the Internet what you look like, but don't have a Web cam or a scanner? Do you feel the need for a custom pop-art portrait that accurately projects what you'd look like in a Sega Master System game? Portrait Illustration Maker is the site for you. Choose from eyes, noses, hairstyles and face shapes to create your own doppelgänger. It's an entire police-sketch barrel of fun at http://illustmaker.abi-station.com/index_en.shtml.

Comments? Michael Citrome