M Yeah, this is in response to the crab musicians in Montreal and the rant about the boys in Rubberman flipping burgers at McDonald's. Did you happen to see Jonas rock the fucking stage at the Jazzfest in front of 25,000 people? I didn't see him flipping any fucking burgers up there, bitch. [BLEEP!]

M I live on Ontario St. between the Just for Laughs festival and the Jazz festival and if I get asked to dismount my bicycle or have some little GEEK IN A VEST with a walkie-talkie search my bag one more time, somebody's gonna get a kick in the crotch and it ain't gonna fucking be me. That's right. [BLEEP!]

M I thought it was kind of cute the way the Kops Krew guy said that the culture he comes out of is one of ORIGINALITY and you better not steal people's ideas or you're gonna get hurt. What is that bullshit? The whole culture is DERIVATIVE garbage. Everything's about copping styles, everything's about taking somebody else's idea. It's a bullshit, bankrupt culture. All style, no substance. Kops Krew, like all the other crews, suck the fucking bag. Wake up. Put your PANTS ON. Stop partying! [BLEEP!]

F This is what I have to say about Kops Krew. Take all of those 10-foot poles out of your asses. You talk like you run this town. Aw, you stole our night. Cry me a fucking river. You guys probably made that Pants Off night as an excuse to see girls in their UNDERWEAR because that's the only opportunity you'll ever have. And since when does graffiti have anything to do with painting canvases and throwing parties? [BLEEP!]

M I would just like to clarify something for the guy who talked shit about WEST ISLAND PUNKS. Well, my girlfriend comes from the West Island and I come from the East Island and both of us are not really rich kids. We're both upper-middle class, I guess, and we both like punk and we don't destroy bikes and we don't cause trouble. As opposed to most squeegee punks, who like to fuck things up. [BLEEP!]

F This goes out to that guy who got his bike wrecked at L'X. I was at that show and, as a matter of fact, I saw your bike getting smashed. You're talking about West Island punks not knowing jack shit? I live in the West Island and I tried to stop it! I know the people who wrecked your fucking bike and they live in NDG. Get your shit straight because that particular show wouldn't have even been put on without a West Island guy, okay? Peace. [BLEEP!]

F I know that everyone might think that the West Island is rich and pretty, but it's really not. We have our drive-by shootings, we have robberies. And although there are some nice houses, there are some fucking poor places as well. I just wanted to clarify that. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

F Hey, Mister Mile-End prominent musician spokesperson. I don't know what OCCULT MAJESTY you're talking about but I've lived in the Mile-End my whole life and the only time that I reserve eye contact from anyone is when I see people with your kind of attitude walking down the streets that I grew up on wearing their stupid little fucking fake emo look, all calculated, with their PLASTIC INSTRUMENTS in their hands going to the Tams as if they're Miss Thang. I don't like you and get out of my neighbourhood because you make us seem like snobs. [BLEEP!]

M Hi, this is the guy who was walking around with the big orange sign on his head that read I NEED PUSSY. It's not that we're not getting any, we're just trying to get more. Obviously, you haven't learned the technique. [BLEEP!]

M Hi, this is THE FRIDGE from the PWP. I was the guy with the camera walking with the guy with the I Need Pussy sign. Basically, it was for fun but, in the end, we did end up getting numbers. If you got a problem with that, then that's your problem. You're just upset that you didn't think of it first. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. My name is BOOMER. I'm the Albino Guy who's raising the Portuguese Hooker's child. I know that the child's not mine because, for Chrissakes, the baby's not albino. It's not albino! And it looks Portuguese. So, Matthew the Portuguese Hooker, can you please take some responsibility? I'm tired of changing your baby's smelly diapers, you deadbeat dad. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. My name is Mike and I want to say that I know that guy who's claiming not to be the father of that kid. He's full of shit, man. Stop being a deadbeat dad and do your job. Loser. [BLEEP!]

M I read somewhere that when you lose a TOOTH in a dream that it means something. And I had a dream where I lost a tooth and when I looked at it, it was partially DECAYING. And that's got to mean something. So please, whoever is analyzing dreams out there, please respond. I'm freaking out. [BLEEP!]

Next issue: Open forum