by LORRAINE CARPENTER

If you crave sounds, spectacles and sweets from the fringe, there's only one place to be this weekend. That's right! It's the third annual Soiro Bizarro, now a two-night affair, curated, hosted and headlined, as always, by Lederhosen Lucil. In anticipation, the Mirror asked some of this year's Soiro musicians about their bizarro worlds.

Amy Bowles (Pony Da Look)

Most bizarre Toronto scenester: "I am very fond of Les King. He lives on the street and sells the most amazing drawings at shows and art openings around the city. He draws science and aliens, nature and mathematics, pagan icons and purity in beauty. There is often a hidden formula within his works - he'll talk about them if you ask, or tell dirty jokes if he's in the mood. Almost everybody I know owns an original Les King."

Jenny Mitchell (The Barmitzvah Brothers)

Most bizarre Halloween costumes: "The first Halloween I knew Geordie [Gordon, bandmate], he was a spaceman and I was an alien. His costume was a combination of tinfoil and silver material (which may have been insulation), vacuum tubes, duct tape and kitchenware. Mine was a green dress, strange makeup and dyed purple hair, and I carried a small electronic dog that barked when I pressed a button. In Grade 2, I went as a Christmas tree made of a tomato cage and fake tree branches, which my father and I decorated. It had to be lifted over my head so I could sit down. My brother, who went as ‘guy in a noose,' had similar problems that year."

Jesse Levine (aka Kosher Dill Spears)

Most bizarre performance artist: "A few weeks ago, I played piano with Rufus Harley. Rufus played the bagpipes with Sun Ra and knew John Coltrane - apparently Coltrane wanted to take lessons from him. He wears a kilt covered in stars and stripes, as well as a USA jacket, and his bagpipes are decorated with flags of the world. The last two letters of his name are U and S, ‘us,' meaning we're all in this together. On the back of the CD he gave me, he underlined the ‘us' in Rufus. I heard that he mailed a postcard to George Bush, underlining the ‘us' in Bush."

Lederhosen Lucil Most bizarre road food: "I promised my freundling DJ Jester that my alter ego Krista would try chicken-fried steak in Texas. Just once. Well, when it arrived, her eyes widened and her stomach ached in anticipation. It was almost a foot across and looked like a giant breaded pancake with flecks auf pepper und mystery spices. The meat was grey and gristly, like it had been beaten with a mallet, mashed into a steak-like shape and then battered and deep-fried. But it gets better. There was a thick, glistening white gravy, luckily on the side, as per her request. It quivered like Jell-O and, within seconds, developed a nice skin. Yes, it was the most bizarre and grotesque food Krista had ever seen and then actually eaten. Truly. Dirt und vomit Jelly Belly beans taste a meeelion times better, ja?"

Lederhosen Lucil, Big Gold Hoops & Kosher Dill Spears and the Barmitzvah Brothers on Friday, July 16. Lederhosen Lucil, Pony Da Look and Geneviève & Matthieu on Saturday, July 17. Both shows at la Sala Rossa, 9pm, $10

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