by AMY BARRATT

Some people are born to be celebrities. Many dream of fame and fortune, but few actually have the temperament, let alone the talent, for that life.

Caroline Rhea, in town this week and appearing at Just for Laughs, had the soul of an entertainer even back when she was just an unusually flamboyant receptionist here at the Centaur Theatre. "That place gave me the courage to do what I wanted to do," Rhea said recently from her home in New York. "I don't know if you've noticed, but the way a receptionist's desk is set up is very much like a stage. It's like the audience approaches you one by one. You can test material. Plus you have the full-on box office girls at all times."

Everyone who worked at the Centaur in the late '80s - myself included - remembers the force that was Caroline. She did indeed make us laugh all day long, to the point where you sometimes had to say, "Okay go away now, I have work to do." It was obvious even then that she was too big for the room, and would eventually have to find larger audiences for her material.

She has. If having a seat on Hollywood Squares, or hosting her own talk show aren't impressive enough credits, how about appearing as herself on Curb Your Enthusiasm or opposite Elmo on Sesame Street?

That Rhea would be hosting one of the JFL Galas (July 23) was announced back in May. More recently came the news that she would also be performing a one-woman show, Hello, Can You Help Me? Not only will she be gracing the stage of her old haunt, the Centaur, but the show is largely based on her experiences working there.

"That place is like a sitcom."

The title of the show evokes the many slips of the tongue that people make who answer phones for a living. But, Caroline points out, it's the callers who make the funniest slip-ups, like asking for tickets to Cats and Dogs, instead of Guys and Dolls.

The first half of the show consists of Centaur stories which, Rhea claims, may shock even those who were there at the time. At least one may incriminate the teller. She then talks about moving to New York and getting started and finally about some of the weird offshoots of celebrity.

"Everywhere I go, someone always mentions the cat." (Rhea played Aunt Hilda on Sabrina the Teenage Witch opposite a talking black cat named Salem). "I go into a frozen yoghurt joint in New York and say, ‘I'll just have a vanilla please.'" She adopts an accent - possibly French? - to impersonate the server: "‘Perhaps a small snack for the cat?' and I was like, what?… And as I leave the store, ‘Meow meow, meow meow meow, meow.' This is my life now."

In 1989 when she left Montreal, Rhea had done some acting here, but had never taken the stage as a comedian. "You can't be a prophet in your own town. I knew I would never do it there. I also thought, if I'm any good at this, I'm gonna have to go to New York one day, so I'd rather go there and learn how to do this."

How does it feel being back at the Centaur, as the star?

"I'm going to be like a total diva when I'm there, ‘Where's the lighting?'"

Caroline Rhea's Hello, Can You Help Me? Tuesday, July 20, 8pm, at the Centaur (453 St-Francois-Xavier), 288-3161, $24.50

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