Dear Sasha: A friend of mine has discovered the joys of Japanese eggplants. Putting one up his hole once or twice a week is a necessary accompaniment to his masturbatory session. The orgasms he gets as a result have become too good to pass up. He doesn't put a condom over them, but he insists on sterilizing them meticulously. I recall hearing that one should never put fruit or veggies up one's asshole. How safe is this? » A Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned,
One consideration in using vegetables for sexual pleasure is the same as it would be in ingesting them for nourishment, and that is that washing pesticide-treated fruits and vegetables is not totally effective in removing all chemicals. As for organic fare, as the site www.city.toronto.on.ca/health/vf/vf_organic_v_and_f.htm claims, "although organic vegetables and fruit contain fewer pesticide residues than regular produce, the use of organic methods is not an absolute guarantee of pesticide-free produce."

If he is really worried about pesticide absorption via his anus, then he might think about covering his eggplant in a condom. The truth is, though, condoms follow much the same regulations that foods do, in that their safety levels are government regulated. In the case of condoms, they have to be considered food or medical grade to pass. If you trust the government to safely regulate both pesticides, and latex and polyurethane grades, then I guess all of the above options are fine. Personally, I think condoms are the best solution, though sometimes I only feel totally confident giving the advice, "Have fun until something falls off."

Dear Sasha: I have big pussy lips and I also love other women with this endowment. However, I can't seem to find too many porn videos/publications that feature women with big vaginal lips, and I was wondering if you could recommend some good ones. Also, are there any porn stars in particular with these attributes? » C

Dear C,
The porn industry, much like the fashion industry, is not generally one that has an eye for physical diversity when selling product. What this means is that what is currently prized is a tidy little labia. Women who don't have this type of labia get reductions. I won't go into how crazy I think this is.

In the meantime, let us revel in the supreme postmodernism of women with fully original characteristics (lots o' pubes, real breasts) being perceived as fetish objects. There is an entire series of videos called Big Clits, Big Lips, which is now up to volume seven and is easily found online. Let us further revel in the fact that, according to an industry source, this is an extremely popular series. I would also suggest seeking out classic porn, where women left their working parts as they were.

Dear Sasha: I have been masturbating regularly since I was 13. I have orgasms very frequently, and I am curious about my physical responses when coming. At the peak of orgasm, my head turns to the side and my hands want to clench something. These responses feel like my body releasing energy, but I do not know why they occur. Is this just some sort of physical function, or do they correspond to chakras being flooded with energy? » Intrigued by Pleasure

Dear Intrigued,
With all due respect to ancient Eastern religious traditions, in this context, "chakras being flooded with energy" sounds like McYogaspeak to me. There is undoubtedly an esoteric explanation for this reaction, but the one I am going to offer you comes from the book The Clitoral Truth by Rebecca Chalker. Chalker gives a very detailed explanation of the orgasmic process, which concludes with this: "…when one system reaches a certain peak of excitation, the nerve activity that it generates "recruits" or affects the next system along the chain. When all of the steps have been taken, and all of the systems are at a high level of excitability, they may reach a point of overload and discharge, causing an orgasm."

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