by GABRIEL MORENCY

When the Euro Cup Championship trophy is awarded on Sunday in Lisbon, two things are certain to happen. A new champion will be crowned (as defending champs France were bounced by an upstart Greek club) and a coach will be fired.

Which one? Take your pick, as there is more job security in being "interim" prime minister of Iraq than there is coaching a national soccer side. Just ask Italy's Giovanni Trapattoni or Germany's Rudi Voller, both gone after failing to make the quarterfinals. Creative Dutch fans decided to take matters into their own hands by sending head coach Dick Advocaat a one-way plane ticket back to Amsterdam because they don't like his tactics. Never mind the fact they actually made the final four. Tough crowd.

In a tournament that will be remembered for its unpredictability, there' s been no shortage of excitement, from the sublime to the surreal, as the pre-tournament favourites fell by the wayside. From David Beckham's spectacular failure to Sweden and Denmark's bizarre 2-2 draw that put the Italians out of their misery, there' s been more drama in Portugal's stadiums than on a Brazilian soap opera, with the final scene to be played before the world this Sunday at the Estadio da Luz.

Gamblers beware

As the Euro Cup has become the third most-watched sporting event in the world (after the Olympics and World Cup), it's become the second most-bet-on event, after the World Cup. Bettors have been laying it down hand over fist on everything from game winners to who will score the game's final goal, which England's Sol Campbell thought he did against Portugal. Campbell's goal, which would have given England a one-goal lead with only minutes left, was disallowed before England went on to lose on penalty kicks. In a show of good faith, bettors who backed Campbell to score the final goal at 8-1 odds were nonetheless rewarded for their wager by British sportbooks, who are no doubt still counting the euros that were made on England's loss.

Unfortunately for gamblers in Thailand, the government isn't as sympathetic, as over 400 people have been jailed for gambling on the tournament. Police have been monitoring Internet use to ensure nobody is logging on sports books. Evidently, vacationing pedophiles that prey on Thailand's youth are welcome. Gamblers are not.

On a lighter note, to appease pissed-off inmates who can't see the games on TV prison, Thai officials have organized soccer games between inmates and, no, not guards or other inmates, but elephants!

Don't bend it like Beckham

If only David Beckham spent as much time bending it in the goal as he does in his personal assistant, England might still be alive. Which Beckham should consider himself lucky to be, after another international disaster that clearly has exposed him as the world's most overrated athlete.

Forza Azzurri

Going into the final round of round robin action, Italy needed a win versus Bulgaria and for the Danes and Swedes not to tie 2-2 or higher to advance. What happened next was cruel and unusual punishment, as the Azzurri beat Bulgaria on an extra time marker only to have Denmark and Sweden tie 2-2 on a goal that came in the game's 89th minute. Once again Italy is out, once again it's somebody else's fault. Perhaps forgetting the fact that Italy put themselves in the situation they were in, keeper Gianluigi Buffon called the Swede-Dane result "shameful." Others will say the true shame came when Francesco Totti spit in Dane Christian Poulsen's face.

Hellas!

Coming into the tournament, Greece's chances of a final four appearance were as slim as Mary Kate Olsen. How jacked are the Greeks of their team's success? They want to give German coach Otto Rehhagel Greek citizenship. Lacking the big-name stars that their opponents have, Greece have relentlessly defended and used a dangerous counterstrike to shock both Portugal and defending Euro Cup champion France.

Random Rage

In a true stroke of genius, the Expos and Blue Jays will spend Canada Day weekend playing in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It is no doubt hard to do, but Major League Baseball succeeded in finding a place where Canada Day is more insignificant than it is on Pie Nine Street.

Pigskin Prognosticator

Friday July 2
Edmonton +2.5 at Ottawa - pick Edmonton
B.C. –7.5 at Saskatchewan - pick Saskatchewan
Saturday July 3
Montreal –3.5 at Toronto - pick Toronto

Sports Rage with Gabriel Morency is vented weeknights 11 p.m.-2 a.m. on TEAM 990 AM. This column appears bi-weekly. Comments: sportsrage@team990.com