Part of the crucial research that had to get done before I ventured to see Hollywood's latest epic disaster, The Day After Tomorrow, was tuning into some vintage Irwin Allen. Man, that fellow knew how to destroy stuff. It brings a tear to the eye.

Having worn out my copies of The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure, I watched The Swarm (available at Boîte Noire), Allen's cautionary tale about African killer bees, on their way up from the southern hemisphere to invade America, threatening a stellar cast (among them Michael Caine, Henry Fonda, Fred MacMurray, Olivia de Havilland and Richard Chamberlain). At 156 minutes, this thing goes on far too long, even by nutjob fan standards like mine, but the best part comes with a 22-minute infomercial called Inside The Swarm. There's rare footage of Allen directing some bees and actors trying desperately to pretend the movie is anything other than crap, including de Havilland, who states, straight-faced: "This kind of film I think has an awful lot of value."