Booger juice: Captain Underpants is an infantilist superhero who's the star of totally gross adventure books for kids that are actually really good because they contain big words - not just brain-rotting pictures. So what if they're full of farts and snot? In his first big video game adventure, Captain U has to face off against some nasty aliens in a Space Invaders rip-off where part of the fun is avoiding plummeting boogers. Gross? Natch. Pick your nose at www.pilkey.com/bionicboogerboy.php.

Pimp juice: Once you're through being gross, be suave, cool and in control at Player Appreciate, the site for would-be pimps, playas and hu$tlaz. There are pictorial diagrams for administering a correct pimp slap (backhand followed by champagne.) The images come from U.S. anti-terror portal ready.gov. You can also generate your pimp name. Mine's Sheik M. Squeeze. That's just Big Squeeze to the ladies at www.playerappreciate.com.

Comments? Michael Citrome