Dear Sasha: You wrote in your column that you will never bleach your pubic hair again [May 6]. Could you please be a little more specific as to why? You see, I have a confession: for the past 10 years I have been bleaching my rug to match my curtains and every lover I've had in this period (including my boyfriend of two years) believes that this, along with my hair, is natural. You might wonder if I'm dating idiots, and I have on a few occasions, but I have been dying my hair blonde for many years, and most of my family members are, if not blonde, close to it, with a little help. It's just one of those little lies that seems too vain to admit to, but I'm now wondering if your negative experience is one that I should be aware of? » Blonde Ambition
Dear Blonde,
I didn't damage my goods, as I understand might have been the implication, although I can see a person with a more conspicuous inner labia and protruding clit than me having some problems with burning that oh so delicate tissue.
No, my issue with this procedure was the fact that my pubic hair literally turned yellow, and this at a time when I was using it as a source of income and not entirely comfortable going bald (a big girl with no bush always reminds me of that wretched scene in Lolita when Humbert Humbert has sex with the fat kid). To further enhance its sunny radiance were the pointless and unflattering black lights featured in all strip clubs.
Although I found it looked comically artificial, clients were almost unequivocally delighted by what they perceived to be a naturally blonde bush. As you yourself have proven, boys can be quite easily hoodwinked by the "enhancement" techniques that we are hoodwinked into trying. Watching them marvel over the naturalness of breast implants that were pressed under girls chins or coming out of their armpits was always pretty funny, too.
On a more serious tip, hair dyes have been linked to bladder cancer and rheumatoid arthritis. You can find information on this at www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99991306.
Dear Sasha: I'm a young, shy, gay male with a very embarrassing problem. When I have anal sex with a guy who likes it a little rough, my poop splashes everywhere: on the sheets, the walls, etc. I don't have to tell you how bad the smell is!
A friend said he knows a guy who found a way to solve this problem. Apparently, this guy does a thorough cleaning of his entire colon before sex, using a hose that you can plug on the shower and the other end, with a very small head, in your rectum. This is basically the equivalent of colonic irrigation. I looked everywhere to find this tool, in different drugstores and even at Canadian Tire, to no avail. Since I don't even know the name of this tool, I cannot do any research on the Internet. To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure it exists. » Dave
Dear Dave,
First off, splashy poop? How's your diet, Dave? Are you taking lots of magnesium-based antacids? Are you on antibiotics, or are you lactose intolerant? These are all things, according to Jack Morin's shit-kicking book, Anal Pleasure and Health, that might cause diarrhoea. You might want to talk to your doctor about diet tips to firm up your feces.
The item to which you are referring is not a myth. It is called the Shower Shot, and can be purchased at Priape (1311 Ste–Catherine E. or www.priape.com) for $99.99, but it is not the equivalent of colonic irrigation (speaking of things I'll never do again: colonic irrigation two hours after the fish and chips lunch special at Hooters). Colonic irrigation is a bit more elaborate, and is done by someone who holds a degree in colon therapy, not someone with 100 bucks and a compatible showerhead. This is not to say that you can't or shouldn't use the Shower Shot, but as there are apparently no instructions with it, you must take great care. Use low water pressure, and don't make the water too hot.
Got any questions for Sasha? Write her at
465 McGill Street, 3rd floor, Montreal, Quebec, H2Y 4B4
Fax: 393-3173
e-mail: pouledeluxe@yahoo.com
