Frankel flattered

What a surprise! I return from a trip, look at the Mirror's Best of Montreal results and there I am: honourable mention as Loudest Activist [May 6]!

I guess if I can't convince the readers that Israel is unfairly treated by the world community and that the Palestinians' worst enemies are Arab leaders, this will have to do.

Now I'd like to think that in the future I could bump Jaggi Singh out of first place, but I doubt that I have the talent. I would have to do something like go to a Palestinian refugee camp in Lebanon and demand justice for the residents. But the Syrian puppeteers there have even less of a sense of humour than Israeli soldiers. Too dangerous. I could catapult teddy bears into Arafat's compound, but he wouldn't get it.

I guess my only chance would be to try to convince Mirror readers that McDonald's French fries taste like sweetened cardboard. First place should go to something like Chalet Barbecue. Now there's a challenge! Nonetheless, I appreciate the honour… really!

» Ken Frankel

Poor pun

Please tell me that I'm seeing things and that your cover about a Japanese psychedelic band didn't contain the phrase "Frower power" [May 13]. I like a good pun as much as the next guy, if not more, but to resort to exploiting clichéd stereotypes about other nationalities' supposed inability to speak "proper" English for a cheap laugh should be beneath your newspaper.

» Paul C. Hébert

Heckling hardly heavy

"Hey sexy nice ass," is a far cry from "Die faggots" and "You're a disgrace to your race." If that is the extent of homophobic heckling in an evening's stroll with your boyfriend in Montreal [Letters, "Street hassles," May 13], then consider yourself lucky and chillax, dude.

» Ron Harris, Cuir Northbound

Marriage and money

I found the column by Kristian Gravenor on the second wife getting a bum deal by paying alimony to her husband's ex to be confusing [Kristian Perspective, May 6].

How can the second wife pay for the first wife's spousal support when spousal support is decided at the time of divorce from the first wife - before he is legally able to marry again? It's not even a general rule that spousal support is granted based on the husband's new girlfriend's money being added into the family net income and then divided to support the greedy first wife. This consideration might be taken if the husband readily got into a new relationship before his divorce was finalized, and the new woman's income so substantiated his income that his standard of living was greatly increased. If, in comparison to his new standard of living, the wife's was greatly reduced due to the separation of their marriage, and she was having work difficulties or such, a judge might see that her husband could afford to give spousal support in an equitable agreement.

Most women do not get life-term spousal support, and most often a judge grants time-limited support based on the need of a spouse to get more secure in their careers and emotions. Don't forget that women today, even with women's lib, still make much less than men (75 cents to your $1?). In marriage you offer your financial life to another person. Don't get divorced if you can't deal with its debt. In divorce, all that you do is compare his money to her money and separate it as equally as possible.

A judge can grant support in the first wife's favour if the husband was non-compliant and refused to negotiate terms and agreements to settle. Spousal support is tax deductible only if the providing spouse contributes actively in creating separation agreements. Otherwise, if a spouse refuses to work out terms and a judge has to decide, spousal support is no longer tax-deductible. If, after he marries again, the first wife appeals the decision of spousal support based on his increase of income, a judge would still compare that request to her basic needs being met by the first agreement.

Of the 50 per cent or so of marriages that fail, the majority of them are new first marriages within the first five years. During these adulthood-establishing times, careers are beginning to be made. Investments of time just begin to generate money coming back in. Based on those establishing times and the income generated by the couple, terms of the divorce are made by the court or negotiated by the spouses. In those early years of marriage, often the stress of school and establishing careers takes its toll. Most spouses, as a result of their agreement to marry, freely support one another financially, spiritually and emotionally, and according to their proper means.

Marriage is a legally binding agreement, meaning that you are now forever more tied to each other in all those ways until death or divorce. And divorce is where only the financial terms of separating or issues around the children are important. That's it. Marriage also means you bear all the results of its breakdown including its effect on future relations. It's part of the package.

» Sue

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