by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

It's about fucking time. Those miserable shits Bob and Harvey Weinstein have been sitting on this gem almost since its original Chinese release in '01, same way they've sat on the excellent Hero with Jet Li - guess pimping pretty boy DiCaprio takes priority.

Shaolin Soccer isn't the first running go that the remarkable Stephen Chow has taken at fusing kung fu with Chinese pop film genres to comedic end. What God of Cookery did for the kitchen, this one does for the soccer field. The title explains a lot - a dishonoured soccer champ wants to assemble and coach a winning team to confront his nemesis, while mouthy yet impecunious martial artist Sing wants to spread the word of kung fu. Enter Sing's band of lapsed Shaolin brothers, a pathetic bunch soon whipped into fine fighting/footballing form.

The flick has more going for it that can be listed here. Most important is the star and creator Stephen Chow, Hong Kong's comedy king. Chow can balance broad and subtle comedy with utmost grace, while bringing his own quirks, idiosyncrasies and perfect deadpan into the mix. His knack for parodying the emotive excesses of kung fu cinema is by now firmly established, shining brightly here.

Of course, like soccer, a good comedy film needs a solid team to back up the star player. The goofy Shaolin brothers are a sheer delight, one of the funniest comedy crews in ages - one look at Iron Head's drooping mug had me howling. Some great cameos here too, like the dreadlocked drag-king turn by Hong Kong über-hotties Karen Mok and Cecelia Cheung.

Another thing is the frenzied use of wire fu and especially CGI - this thing's got more computer-generated absurdity than the whole Matrix trilogy. Chow capitalizes on the cartoonishness of both, because cartoonishness is a good part of what he was aiming for. Shaolin Soccer really does come on as fast, dense and funny as anything Tex Avery ever did.

Look: everybody go see this. If only to make those Weinstein fuckers feel like the putzes they are.

Shaolin Soccer opens Friday, May 7

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