Music

Best Musical Act
1. Sam Roberts
2. Pulse Ultra
3. The Dears
4. Free Oxygen Band
5. Senzafine
6. Code Pie
7. The Stills
8. Paul Cargnello
9. Kobayashi
10. Rhythm Mercenaries

Last year's winner Pulse Ultra find themselves knocked down a notch by local cause célèbre Sam Roberts, who not only took this category handily but pops up in several others. The Dears don't do too shabby, taking the bronze. Groove-oriented live crossover acts rate highly - Free Oxygen Band, Kobayashi and Rhythm Mercenaries all fit this bill, while the Stills and Paul Cargnello (who share a history of helping hands from Me Mom & Morgentaler types) register well too.

Freakiest Local Act
1. Vaginal Croutons
2. Les Georges Leningrad
3. One-976
4. Freakency
5. The Unicorns
6. Eye 2 Eye
7. Pulse Ultra
8. Starbuck
9. Lederhosen Lucil
10. Bloodshot Bill

Let's all take a solemn moment to bow our heads, drool a bit and maybe shove our fingers up our noses. The winner in this category, Vaginal Croutons (who took second last year), have broken up, so consider this win in memoriam. Speaking of solemnity and death, did you know that this year's silver medallists les Georges Leningrad have a ghost in their band? Ever see a ghost try and haul a bass amp up a flight of stairs? It's just ridiculous - like the spastic, polyglot perversity of les Georges themselves. The likewise pervy One-976, last year's winners, hang in there despite a quiet year, while fourth place for "freakiest" rightfully goes to the digi-horror-glamster act with the word "freak" in their name. The Unicorns earned their spot that time they got some homeless dudes to stand in for them, and Bloodshot Bill the time he played in his own dubious, handmade garbage-bag suit.

Most Pretentious
Local Act
1. The Stills
2. godspeed you black emperor!
3. The Dears
4. Vaginal Croutons
5. Celine Dion
6. Sam Roberts
7. 3 Mile Scream
8. The Unicorns
9. One-976
10. Pulse Ultra

At long last, we have the Stills, a band perceived as so mopey and mirthless that they actually knocked avant-gardistas godspeed! out of the top "Most Pretentious" spot they've held for years now. The Dears, of course, remain as pretentious as ever.

Heaviest Local Act
1. Pulse Ultra
2. Tantrumn
3. Senzafine
4. Voivod
5. Donkeys
6. Grim Skunk
7. Dutch Oven
8. Bionic
9. Theater Of Pain
10. Les Pugilists

While that dashing superstar Sam Roberts may have bumped them from the best-band-in-town slot, Pulse Ultra are still the heaviest, according to their many vote-happy fans. Not bad considering that Montreal's a burg that coughs up serious competition in this category. Relative newcomers Tantrumn and Senzafine manage to squeeze out Quebec's grand old men of heaviosity Voivod, while those nice Donkeys guys get a nod despite their respectable-job haircuts and frequent, mournful ocarina solos.

Best Hip Hop Act
1. Eye 2 Eye
2. Shades of Culture
3. Butta Babees
4. Tango & Cash
5. Offsides (D.R. One)
6. ICM
7. Buck 65
8. Northern Lights
9. Velvet Trench Vibes
10. Famn

Some consistency in this category - Eye 2 Eye and Shades of Culture retain their first- and second-place spots, respectively, from last year. Butta Babees, who dropped their CD Urban Elo this year, sneak up the ranks to third. Standbys Kid Koala and Muzion have mysteriously fallen off, seeing figures from the ICM collective snatching their limelight. A new addition to the BOM list is Buck 65, who earlier this year moved from the Maritimes to Montreal. Welcome aboard, sir.

Best Club DJ
1. Quest
2. D.R. One
3. Dirt
4. Stylez
5. Jojo Flores
6. Mana
7. Toddy Flores
8. Kwite Sane
9. Andy Couchman
10. Laflèche

If what DJ Quest is seeking is highest honours in his field, his quest is at an end. Again this year, the man who gets the Jet set ready for take-off is in the top spot. Right behind him is D.R. One, retaining his silver position. A bit of a shake-up in third - Foufounes' DJ Dirt, of the popular Ripper SK8 nights, is the first rock-oriented DJ to break to upper ranks of this category in years. DJ Stylez, a frequent associate of top-dog Quest, snags fourth, while DMC champ DJ Mana takes sixth. Flores brothers Jojo and Toddy maintain their visibility here, even though the Therapy nights are currently inactive.

Best Electronic Act
1. Tiga
2. Kobayashi
3. Kid Koala
4. DJ Mana
5. Chromeo
6. Akufen
7. Mistress Barbara
8. Echo Kitty
9. Refuge Electronik 2
10. DJ Maüs

Top props go to Tiga, Montreal's techno mastermind most recently given to excursions into haute-couture, digi-disco karaoke. Silver medallists Kobayashi would be just as happy in the hip hop and jazz categories (keyboardist Chris Tauchner makes the latter, in fact), but hey, a win's a win. Kid Koala's an odd one here, given that one half expects him to roll out a dusty, handcranked gramophone and a carpet bag full of lacquer platters when he plays. Electro-funkateers Chromeo, smirky IDM cat Akufen, techno temptress Misstress Barbara (aka, in house mode, Barbara Brown) and lively new wavers Echo Kitty grab their spots, but leave room for doyenne of the decks DJ Maüs.

Best Jazz Musician
1. Oscar Peterson
2. Charlie Biddle
3. Chet Doxas
4. Jeri Brown
5. Benoît Charest
6. Ernie Nelson
7. Chris Tauchner
8. Charles Ellison
9. Susie Arioli
10. Coral Egan

He of the huge paws and the concert hall takes the gold, while the late Charlie Biddle gets a second-place farewell. Sax man Doxas, singer Jeri Brown and pianist Ernie Nelson get their due here, as does Benoît Charest, the guy responsible for that awesome Triplets of Belleville soundtrack. Charles Ellison's spot is triply deserved, as a musician, teacher and historian of jazz. The youngsters pipe in with props for Kobayashi keyboardist Tauchner, and Justin Time's hot properties Arioli and Egan fill out the list.

Best Singer/Songwriter
1. Sam Roberts
2. Rufus Wainwright
3. Paul Cargnello
4. Leonard Cohen
5. Jf Robitaille (Social Register)
6. Ray Bonneville
7. Julie Dorion
8. Lydia Lockett
9. Maia Davies
10. Jean Leloup

Sam Roberts (there he is again!) and Rufus Wainwright harbour the major-label advantage here, so even a bronze for Paul Cargnello is nothing to sneeze at. As for this chipper young fellow Cohen, word is the girls on the cheerleading squad think he's dreamy - could a Canadian Idol slot be far behind?

Best Local Music Label
1. ICM
2. Turbo
3. Ninja Tune
4. Alien8
5. Stomp
6. GotSoul
7. La Tribu
8. Blue Skies Turn Black
9. Soundbeat Records
10. Constellation

Hip hop hothouse Island City Monsters make a big mark, considering they're just getting rolling. Turbo, boasting Tiga and Chromeo among others, pulls up for a tight second. Third place goes to Ninja Tune - not actually a Montreal label, but their North American offices are here, they've signed numerous locals and they eat lots of poutine and ketchup chips, for real. Alien8 continue to expand and impress, especially with the big chinchilla pimp suits they bought on the Unicorns' dime. Stomp continue to prove that rumours of ska's demise are exaggerated. GotSoul got more soul if anything (though they're down dramatically from top slot last year). La Tribu coast in on the strength of Paul Cargnello, Jérôme Minière, Martin Léon and Jean Leloup's new "hello, I'm dead" CD, followed by promoters-cum-labelizers Blue Skies, newcomers Soundbeat and longstanding outfit Constellation.

Best Busker
1. Polka Spoon Man
2. Stilt Man
3. Michael Jackson dancer in Lionel-Groulx
4. The guy with 3 recorders up his nose
5. Accordion guy from China who always plays the same tune and smiles in Guy metro
6. Hollywood the Banana Man
7. Bad News Brown
8. Trumpet guy
9. Blind clarinet guy at Ste-Catherine/Peel
10. Bucket drummer guy/Dancing Batman (tie)

Last year's second-placer Sean B'y has disappeared from the list, but other than that, the upper ranks are held firmly by their incumbents. Ste-Catherine's noisy, opinionated Spoon Man still rules the roost, while the sax-playing Stilt Man remains "high" on the list, "rising" to the occasion, "towering" over the competition - sorry, couldn't resist. About the Michael Jackson Dancer, easily one of Montreal's most talented and diligent entertainers (and that ain't sarcasm!): while certain Jacksonian touches colour his work - flood-cut pants, fedora, moonwalk - this guy is no simple cover artist. He's incorporated a kaleidoscope of robo-funk B-boy manoeuvres into a pan-'80s patchwork of street-dance excellence, and allowed it to percolate for a full two decades. This guy is simply the finest '80s revival act, anywhere. On a more renaissance note, it should be pointed out that the hefty, blond Recorder Guy doesn't have three recorders up his nose, only two (the third he plays the old-fashioned way - with his mouth). And actually, they aren't up his nose but rather at his nostrils. Laugh all you want and act all grossed out but fuck, we'd like to see you try that shit.