Sam the record-breaking man

Rocker Roberts is all over this year's BOM

by JOHNSON CUMMINS

Sure, rocker Sam Roberts recently hauled home a batch of Junos, but more importantly, the people of Montreal have spoken and voted for Roberts in a whopping six categories in the BOM. The Mirror phoned him up at home and gave him the good news.

Mirror: Congrats, you're Montreal's most desirable male.

Sam Roberts: [laughs uncontrollably] What the hell does "desirable" mean, anyway?

M: Well, if I have to explain to you what "desirable" means, then you should thank God you at least have your looks. I think essentially that people want to fuck you or something.

SR: Well, I guess that isn't such a bad thing, eh.

M: You also got Best Dressed, which is funny because even on your best days you look like a tree planter on laundry day.

SR: No fucking kidding. That is a fucking laugh. I have been shuffling the same shit around for years. I must admit, I have bit of weak spot for the Gap though.

M: You came out first as Best Musical Act, as well.

SR: That one actually means something. Most people who play in bands here will tell you that this town can really kick you around. I'm not saying that we work harder than any other band in Montreal, but we really work hard and it does feel good to have your hometown get behind you. I'm actually happy about that one.

M: You didn't rank too well, though, in Most Pretentious Montrealer - you ended up with a disappointing sixth position. You are going to have to work on that one a bit for next year.

SR: I think there's a lot more work I'm going to have to put in to fare better. I know I've got some stiff competition out there so I'm just going to have to work on it.

M: Yeah, you have to put in more time at oxygen bars and start wearing a monocle. You're also number one in the Best Singer/Songwriter category. You even beat out Leonard Cohen. Any words of advice for Lenny, maybe some pointers that he can work on to move up the ladder for next year? He could be thumbing through this issue looking for a futon ad or something.

SR: I think Leonard is so wrapped up in his Zen meditation universe that it can't include weekly magazines.

M: What is the best place in Montreal to get wasted?

SR: Well, that is my favourite pastime. I like doing my drinking at home, actually. If I do go out, I go to my brother's place, le Pistol. I have never, never had an in at a bar before, y'know, where you can cut to the front of the line and get free tabs and stuff. You would figure that, because my brother owns the bar, I would get special treatment, but no such luck.

M: Okay, let's get down to the real meat here. What's is your favourite Tonkinoise soup joint and the best Montreal spot to pick up a lady?

SR: I know most critics will say Pho Bang but my favourite is Parfums d'Asie on des Pins and St-Laurent. The best spot to pick up a lady in Montreal is at the hospital. If you can get a good spot just across from the exit to the emergency room, you're set.