Dear Sasha: In browsing the Internet I've found that some people, especially in Japan, have the most out-of-this-world fetishes, including hearing beautiful women fart and smelling women's dirty underwear and socks. Having been a customer service representative for Lavalife, I thought I'd seen it all, but this is just too odd for whatever pop psychology my experience could gather. My two questions are (1) Why in Japan so much and so strangely? (2) How can my girlfriend profit from the lucrative dirty underwear industry? You seem to fancy yourself a "sexpert" and I figured you should show us more about these funny oddities. » Web Weirded

Dear WW,
For the record, the Japanese are not the only people who enjoy huffing used socks and panties, although their system speaks to a certain efficiency and frankness as, from what I gather, these items can be purchased from public vending machines.

Most women who work in the sex trade will tell you clients have asked to buy their used stockings and underwear, and I know more than one girl who's been approached for the favour at the laundromat. There are also North American Web sites (www.pantyauction.com) dedicated to the fetish, although it's not always as lucrative in and of itself, as you suggest. Take note of the pussy-dipped lollipops for sale on the site as well.

With the scads of North American sites devoted to fetishes just as unique (like humping inflatable pool toys), may I propose it is because all cultures tend to oversimplify others in ways that make little room for interpreting intricacies, that this is why these fetishes seem strange to you? As such, my own explanation is probably somewhat incomplete: in a culture with little privacy, intimate moments are fetishized. In a culture that prides itself on self-control, losing it is hot. I would also check out Talk Dirty to Me by Sallie Tisdale for her thoughts on the topic of Japanese sexuality. Everyone should own this book. It is one of the most thoughtful and provocative contemporary sexual texts around.

And by the way, I hate the word sexpert. It makes me think of heavily perfumed shampoo and two-faced cheerleaders.

Dear Sasha: I consider you to be an insightful sex columnist on most occasions but I have to take issue with the advice you recently gave "Too Much (Self) Love Bites" [April 8].

I don't agree that "enjoyment and adventure have been lost." The way I see it, this woman is clearly a sex addict, yet you never broach the issue. It is precisely the enjoyment aspect that this woman is going for (multiple times) in order to contend with her stress. Would it be counterproductive for Sasha to even suggest such a thing as sexual addiction? I suspect this woman wrote to you in an honest attempt to get some advice and the best you come up with is to recommend walks and non-elasticized pants? No offence, but you have a responsibility to give people helpful suggestions, which I don't think you really did in this instance. » Ericson Martin

Dear Ericson Martin,
I actually considered the possibility of sexual addiction, but I have grown to believe that the 12-step model applied to sex is inadequate and overzealous - combined qualities I find troubling. I've met self-identified sex addicts who seem to have morphed into self-identified martyrs. This is not an encouraging and helpful example, in my opinion. Not only that, Too Much (Self) Love Bites clearly has a candid relationship with her primary partner, something that a lot of self-identified sex addicts not only lack, they avoid.

It is true, though, that my job should entail offering a variety of options, including ones I consider suspect. (I did after all, suggest yoga, of which I am highly suspicious. Really, all that breathing can't be good for a person.) Just because I'm wary of Sexaholics Anonymous doesn't mean she won't find it edifying. Local meetings can be found online.

Venez Tels Quels (www.comeasyouare.com, 495-0444) also offers a variety of more sexually positive workshops, as well as resources in Montreal for sex-positive therapists. And on that note, happy National Masturbation month!

Got any questions for Sasha? Write her at
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