story by KRISTIAN GRAVENOR
illustrations by RICHARD SUICIDE

Spring has arrived, which means it's time to shed your warm layer of subcutaneous blubber and get your hard-flowing blood blasting past your cholesterol build-ups. This could be done in many ways but possibly none more stimulating than by launching oneself into the many lesser-known but no-less-loved sports that seem increasingly popular on (and off) the island. From the bucolic ball tossing of pétanque to the breakneck speed of street luge, the Mirror tells you how to go about navigating your choice of obscure or novelty sports in this handy guide.

Street luge

For those with a desire to enjoy the second most exciting activity you can possibly experience while lying on your back, it's a strictly do-it-yourself affair. Buy a board off the Net or build a makeshift one and then find a hill - at least that's what our small group of street lugers have done.

"You're lying five centimetres from the ground, you push really hard with your hands and you feel the whoosh in your ears. As you reach the first curve, you put your arm over to the side and you feel the acceleration. It's really exciting," says Louis-Etienne "Bob" Bouchard, the Montreal resident of the Three Bobs, a Quebec City-based street luge team that's helping popularize the sport here. The trio have been known to descend suburban streets in the middle of the night, legally, they think. "Cops will stop you if they get complaints from residents but it seems there's no specific law banning it," says Bob.

The Bobs' highly structured training rituals involve having one car driving behind the rider and another in front. The rider and vehicles are connected by radio. Shoulder and elbow pads, a motorcycle helmet, two pairs of gloves and rubber shoes are required equipment. Speeds can hit 90 kilometres an hour and, unlike other small wheel sports, braking works. "You put your feet down and you can stop even faster than a car," says Bob, who hopes one day to open a legit street luge course on a skihill.

Helicopter paintball

Who among us hasn't fantasized about riding a helicopter and pegging off people below? Bigfoot Paintball is happy to make your dreams come true, with 25 paintball fields spicing up our otherwise dull countryside. They offer helicopter assaults as an added - but rather costly - option on their paintball setup.

"We arrange to do it about 10 times a year. You get 20 versus 20 with three guys shooting from the helicopter. The participants decide who gets to go up. Usually they flip a coin or something, because everybody wants to go in it," says owner Daniel Gagnon. Players on the ground aren't allowed to shoot up at the chopper though. "That's too dangerous," he says.

Most of the 20,000 people annually who pass through this paintball camp stick with the standard set-up, which includes vehicular support. "We have an eight-wheeled modified vehicle with a cabin - it's a tank, basically." Billed as the biggest in Canada, Bigfoot offers not just normal paintball guns but also grenades and bazookas. Forty dollars per person is the standard for games, lunch and equipment, but the helicopter option is available for $2,400 total.

Bigfoot is at 1380, route 343, St-Alphonse Rodriguez. For more info, call 1-800-978-7843 or visit www.bigfoot-paintball.com.

School of rodeo

Give them three glorious spring days and the rodeo at St-Tite will turn you into a rodeo rider. This May 7, 8 and 9, you'll get all you need to become conversant in the theory and practice of riding wild horses (with and without saddles) and bulls. "Usually those who join have a bit of riding experience. The school attracts people who love the extreme side of rodeo and are attracted to risk," says rep Geneviève Frappier. The camp costs $250 and features accommodation, video analysis of riders, mechanical bull-ride practices and an ambulance present at all times in case of emergencies. Quebec champions Roger Lacasse, Kelly Armstrong and Sylvain Bourgeois will teach the ropes to the newbies, some of whom allegedly later turn out to be seasoned cowboys. For more info visit www.festivalwestern.com or call 1-877-493-7837

Polo

Since it was invented hundreds of years ago in Persia, polo has been considered a) the first team sport b) the first ball sport and c) the tough-guy sport for the horsey set.

"Falling off is a little like slamming into the boards in hockey," says Steve Sadler, a 16-year player and now president of our local polo chapter. The Montreal Polo club, the oldest in Quebec, has three fields out in the Hudson/Ste-Marthe area. Those who want to join should have about eight or more riding lessons, own a thoroughbred or quarter horse 15 hands or taller (they cost $1,500 to $3,000) and another $800–$1550 annually to join the 20 other clubsters who meet three times a week during the summer. An unflinching resolve might also be a good idea. "When you're going full speed and somebody is coming that same speed in the opposite direction, it can get pretty fast," says Sadler. Check www.polo.ca for details.

Pétanque

You need balls of steel and an ability to manipulate them if you want to excel at pétanque. The sport, also known as boules, is a fast-growing pastime as Quebecers increasingly become intent on the art of tossing a ball near a wood peg. The greater Montreal area now proudly possesses 50 clubs; 15,000 folks play province-wide. While best played on an idyllic summer afternoon, addicts can also get their fix all winter in one of 10 local "Boulodromes," including one at the Galeries D'Anjou. "It doesn't take much strength but it requires somebody to be in good shape, at least those who play competitively," says Denise Coutu of the Quebec Pétanque Federation. For more info visit www.petanque.qc.ca or dial 252-3077.

Cricket

If you thought of cricket as a marginal sport here, you're wrong. Every summer, 1,200 cricket players sign on to one of the 50 teams spread over six divisions of competence and take to one of 17 local cricket fields tucked away in places like Jarry Park, the Douglas Hospital grounds and Wagar High. Cricket has been thriving here for over a century, with some teams, like Verdun's, boasting historical figures like former Dominica PM Rosie Douglas.

Players are expected to devote 15 hours a week from spring till fall, as they play two games a week, which last at least seven hours each. Newcomers from all over - particularly South Asians - join in droves, which anybody can do as long as they bring $100 and their equipment. The league is considered semi-pro, with some teams, like the championship squad of local Grenadians, displaying scary skills. League organizer Subrata Mandal, a computer engineer who moved here from South Africa, says he loves cricket almost as much as he loves his adopted city of Montreal.

"Cricket's the father of baseball. You toss the ball to the batter but it has to bounce," he says as a part of a longer, futile attempt to explain the rules. For info on the league, ask at subrata.mandal@sympatico.ca.

Footbag

Those who get a kick out of bouncing a hacky sack around at the Tam-Tams on Mount Royal might keep an eye out for scouts. "It's one of our main areas of recruitment," says Yves Archambault of the Quebec Footbag Association.

For a nominal fee, you could find yourself getting serious by joining the "net" version (similar to volleyball) that gets played on badminton courts 47 weeks a year, Tuesdays and Thursdays, at the CÉGEP du Vieux Montréal. Those less inclined for the hard-core version can sign on to freestyle, the more familiar, communal variety of the sport. Those intimidated by competition shouldn't despair. "It gets easy pretty fast," says Archambault. For those interested in getting into net, call 845-2194. For future freestylers, try www.flipsider.com.