by PATRICK LEJTENYI

Alex Foster has come a long way and through a lot of pain to be where he is now. At 29, the singer of local alt-rock group In This Life is a spokesman for Amnesty International and a dedicated anti-racist - a far cry from 10 years ago, when he was chief ideologue, recruiter and propagandist for an extreme right-wing hate group.

Recruited young ("I read Mein Kampf at 13"), he says he quickly shot up through the ranks, thanks largely to his organizational and speaking ability. What drew him to the extreme fringes of youth subculture, however, is typical: a need for belonging, for respect and for love - which he didn't have at home, growing up poor with an alcoholic father.

"The subculture validated me," he says. "Everyone else I was hanging around with was older, in CÉGEP or university. We'd have debates, and whenever I disagreed with someone I'd come back next week to discuss it further. I was kind of adopted, not as a group mascot but because they saw I had potential. I was intellectual but had a lot of audacity for someone my age."

Within a couple of years, Foster had become a mainstay on Montreal's extreme right scene, which, by the late '80s and early '90s, was swelling. Recruitment - Foster's specialty - was up, especially with teenagers, and running street fights with anti-racist groups were common. He, however, says he shied away from violence.

What started to change his mind was the increasing probability of death - of himself, his friends or their enemies. "People in my group were seriously discussing killing Alain Dufour (leader of the Ligue anti-fasciste de Montréal), eliminating any kind of more moderate position. I always preferred to debate ideas, but it was getting too serious. I started asking, ‘How many people are we going to have to kill?'"

He left soon after. The final stroke came at a concert he was supposed to speak at, when the band's singer started waving a swastika and Foster saw hundreds of kids, many of whom he recruited, reaching out to touch it. After that, he says, he left for good and had a complete breakdown.

His departure did not go over well with his fellow racists. He was accused of treachery and was summoned to a closed meeting with the leaders of his group. He feared for his life. "I knew everything about the organization, what they talked about, how they recruited. They told me they would let me go, but didn't want to hear from me for two years. And I respected that."

These days, Foster is still trying to live down his past. He's married, is working on a documentary and regularly speaks publicly against racism. He still has skinheads show up to his concerts though, to intimidate him and "remind me that they haven't forgotten me." He hasn't been attacked yet, but figures that someday, he will be. "It's sad, but it's a fact of life."

In This Life play the Rock & Rights concert on Saturday, Apr. 10, at Petit Campus (57 Prince Arthur E.) at 8pm. $8 in advance, $10 at the door