by CHRIS BARRY

Every now and then a teen flick comes along that strays from convention. Which, of course, doesn't necessarily mean it's any good, just that it might occasionally throw you a curve ball that you hadn't seen coming within five minutes of the opening credits. The Girl Next Door is not a spectacular movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it does have more in common with what many consider to be quality teen flicks like, say, John Hughes' Sixteen Candles, than it does the pure crapola of recent teen offerings like the Freaky Friday remake, or my personal favourite, The Lizzie McGuire Movie.

Future mega-star Emile Hirsch is not your typical nerd in this picture. Sure, he's student council prez with a longing to someday become president of the U.S. of A, but he's also something of a looker who yearns to break free of his dull high school existence and seek adventure - to live life for a change, rather than continue spending his nights alternating between pulling on his ying yang and doing his algebra home work. Enter Elisha Cuthbert, a wild and wacky teen porn star on the lam from her sleazy employer/boyfriend, who moves in next door and is immediately taken by Hirsch's naïve, uncomplicated charm.

From the moment she catches him staring at her delectable bare ass through their back-to-back bedroom windows, she is enraptured by this strange and sexy nerd who comes to love her for the good person she is inside, and not because he's seen her work and knows how sweet she looks with a strap-on dildo attached to her hips. But, as always in any respectable teen movie, love is not without its complications. Will the love between these two sexy teens remain unrequited? Will Cuthbert go back to L.A. to resume her career as a celluloid cocksucker or stay put and go to the prom with Hirsch? Is this movie going to be an enormous hit?

Yes, it most probably will be, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's actually good - just a little bit better than the total piece of garbage you'd expect it to be.

The Girl Next Door opens Friday, April 9

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