F Hello there. It seems that, for some time now, the Rant Line™ has been filled with complaints about music from angry people. I think we all need to settle down and watch tapes of our '80s cartoon favourites. Don't you think? I also think we all need a hug. Yes, yes, especially Mr. Heinrich Himmler German dude who, frankly, scares the shit out of me with his racist thing going on. So that is why I encourage you people to visit childhood memories and go rent something like the Care Bears, Rainbow Brite, Transformers or Jem and the Holograms. People these days need soothing entertainment. And while you're at it, get yourself some comfy slippers and a box of Cap'n Crunch. You know what? I need a fucking hug, too. [BLEEP!]

M Going out to respond to that Heinrich Himmler guy - or whoever you are. I am a 30-year-old musician. However, I am not on welfare. I work a 40-hour-a-week job. I wake up like everyone else, I pay my rent, I pay my bills and, with my extra time and energy, I try to speak my mind. If this happens to land me in a situation where I'm having fun and getting some kind of monetary compensation out of it, so be it. But I do make sure I'm at work the next day. Do you have a job? Do you play music? Maybe you should, you know? Relieve some of that stress you have. [BLEEP!]

F Okay, this is in response to Herman Himmler's rant last week. You're an asshole, buddy. Gays and Afro-Canadians are no more of a drain on the Canadian economy than anybody else in this country. You sound like an incredibly ignorant man or maybe you just need to see a psychiatrist. Get some help, buddy, you sound like you need it. Peace out. [BLEEP!]

M This is for the German guy who called in. I just wanna say that him and his whole country will never be forgiven for the horrible atrocities they committed in the past and I think he should go back to where he came from, that Kraut faggot. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M This is a Dutch citizen, Canadian immigrant. Landed immigrant, for that matter. I'm disappointed with the lack of attention Canadian television - English and French - gave to the death of the QUEEN MOTHER Juliana of the Netherlands. She was living in Ottawa and she was very much involved with the veterans' celebration every year in the Netherlands and in Canada. Why doesn't anybody here in Canada seem to care? [BLEEP!]

M The Thrills, the Stills, the Vines, the Strokes - what's with the fad? Anyone who thinks these people play anything remotely original needs to bone up on their musicology. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F Izabelle Desjardins is so fucking hot! I watch I.D. Mode every week just to see her because she's so hot! Then I have to watch 1-2-3 Punk afterwards because, of course, that's what's on afterwards, but she makes up for it. She's hot! She's hot! She's hot! Everybody turn on your TV, go to MusiquePlus and look at her face and her butt [evil laughter]. [BLEEP!]

F Yeah, I've got a comment for all those YOUNG BOYS out there who think that women over 30 are just dying for their attention. So I'm at Sala Rossa and this guy is chatting me up - he knows I'm over 30 because we have a mutual friend. He starts telling me that he's got this date on Monday with this woman and she's so old - she's 30 - and she's got this REALLY BIG ASS, like her ass is too big for him. I just looked at him and I said, "You're wasting that woman's time, you're not giving her any respect, you're going out on a date with her just because you need some tenderness." And he said, "Yeah I need some tenderness, man," and he looked at me like I was supposed to pick up the slack here, I was supposed to be like oh, that's so cool, you think this woman's got a fat ass and now you want me to pat you on the back because you've insulted another woman? I'm supposed to think you're so hot now? I've got one word for you, little boy: V-I-B-R-A-T-O-R. [BLEEP!]

M So pissing in public is improper and ignorant. Listen, grandma, why don't you go back to your little retirement community? Pissing in the street isn't ignorant, nor is it improper. It's convenient. Hitting someone for no reason is improper, saying racist things is improper. Pissing in the street is a NATURAL FUNCTION of human beings. Grow the fuck up. [BLEEP!]

F My rant is to the gentleman who thinks it is improper to urinate in public. Hey, if you gotta go, you gotta go. I've SQUATTED a few times in my life. You got a problem with it? Don't look. And if you're looking at me, that's fine too, you may enjoy it. [BLEEP!]

F I would just like to say to the guests that come over to my apartment to stop wiping their SNOT on my white towels. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

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