What better time to unleash an untested weapon than during an illegal war? Get ready Iraqis - America's got a new kind of pain for you, thanks to the deployment of a giant megaphone capable of emitting a piercing tone that, according to its manufacturers, "will knock some people on their knees."

American Technology's PR department doesn't like to call their new sound device a weapon, nor dwell on the pain it's capable of causing, but there's really no way to mistake 145 decibels of shriek for a belly rub.

Company chairman Woody Norris says the device will "produce the equivalent of an instant migraine." Of course, having never been tested on humans, that's just a hunch. Critics suspect permanent hearing loss or cellular damage might be the more likely effects. The weapon's proponents argue that being deaf is better than being dead. At least those Iraqi children will still be able to see how freedom works.

» Scott Saxon