Assplay: When Trojan-brand condoms made their U.K. debut a little while ago, some clever advertising chaps came up with a television commercial campaign that would make the mean little grannies and John Ashcrofts who freaked out over Janet Jackson's left tit need quick institutionalization. The Trojan Games present a few sports passed over for the Olympics, like penile weightlifting and Judo, err, crotch-sitting. It's in video with naked bums aplenty at www.trojangames.co.uk.

Fake fame: Getting a real celebrity at your next party requires an army of sharp PR folk with surgically attached cell phones. But a fake celebrity is much easier. Splitting Images is a leading talent agency for celebrity look-alikes. Some are pretty cool, and convincing, like a suitably simian George Dubya Bush and an eerily realistic John Cleese. Others make you wonder - why get a Billy Connolly impersonator when the real one's probably cheaper? Look twice at www.splitting-images.com.

Comments? Michael Citrome