Dear Sasha: I've noticed a few times in your columns that you mention avoiding the use of condoms with nonoxynol-9. I'm aware that it's a spermicide, but why do you encourage using condoms without it? What does it do to our bodies (male and female)? Could it decrease the integrity of the condom like oil-based lubricant does? » Eleanor

Dear Eleanor,
On a personal note, I noticed that nearly every time I had intercourse using a condom treated with nonoxynol-9, it really seemed to screw up the ecological equilibrium of my vagina. I would end up with a urinary tract-type infection or yeast, or, joy to the world, both. I am pretty sensitive to glycerin, which is in most lubricated condoms and is probably also part of the suspension agent for those with nonoxynol-9, but I'm going to guess it has more to do with the fact that nonoxynol-9 is a disinfectant. It's also used in baby wipes and laundry detergent.

The most up-to-date information about N-9 can be found on the World Health Organization Web site. As the site says, "In the 1970s and 1980s, laboratory tests showed that nonoxynol-9 could inactivate the organisms that cause gonorrhea, chlamydial infections and other sexually transmitted infections, as well as HIV. These findings fuelled hopes that it could be used not only for contraceptive but also for microbicidal purposes. Clinical trials conducted to date do not support these hopes."

Current knowledge also says that not only does it not protect against HIV infection, but "may even increase the risk of HIV infection in women using these products frequently." Why? The product, being an irritant, can cause ulcers in the vagina which then soak up the HIV virus if it's present and gets loose. The same goes for the anus. I'd say that these are all pretty good reasons to avoid it, but no, it does not compromise the integrity of condoms, and if it is all you've got, it's better than nothing.

Dear Sasha: I live in a conservative Midwestern town and decided to visit the local porn shop. When I saw that they had an arcade in the back I had to check it out. I bought a $3 cashless card and went in. There was a TV with 24 channels of porn so you could jack off in a little private booth - then I realized there was a three-inch round hole in the side and there was another guy jacking off in the booth next door. This really surprised me. How can it even be legal for a hole to be there? After a couple of minutes the guy started offering to give me a blowjob, and even though I'm a straight male, being tempted by the porn in front of me and a free blowjob I ended up accepting. He gave me a great blowjob and even swallowed. I left the place very confused, in utter disbelief of what had happened. I came back a few days later and, to my surprise, this sort of thing goes on nightly. Gay dudes who get off on giving blowjobs just give them without expecting one in return. Is it wrong that I enjoy getting a blowjob from a guy while watching normal straight porn? Am I at risk of getting an STI from a blowjob? » Worried Guy

Dear Worried,
The most pressing problem I can see is that you are at risk for contracting STIs, herpes being one of them. My guess, though, is that this isn't going to deter you from this recent and excellent discovery, and I can tell you that whoever is on the other end probably isn't going to take your dick in his mouth with a condom on it, but you can try, and you should.

I guess I would also worry about the local homophobes, but maybe that's just my narrow understanding of what happens to queers in conservative Midwestern towns. You go right ahead and define yourself however you like, but to certain people, straight men don't get blowjobs from other men, even if they're watching straight porn. Welcome to the fold, friend.

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