The MirrorARCHIVES: Feb 26-Mar 3.2004 Vol. 19 No. 36  
Mirror Film

The envelope, please...

>> Our eighth annual Alternative Academy Awards results are in!


 

As per usual, our readers are in their annual Oscar frenzy, as eager to see who wins on Sunday as they are pissed about who didn't get a nod from the Academy. Who can blame them? It's been a banner year for solid movies, and the shutouts were noteworthy. Here are the results of our non-scientific survey about the year in celluloid, from the overhyped to the underappreciated - thanks to the hundreds of readers who filled out and entered their ballots.

Most Overlooked Performance

The Academy simply didn't have its sea legs, or so our readers felt. Despite winning two years ago for A Beautiful Mind, many still sensed that Russell Crowe deserved another nod for Master and Commander. The ever-manic Mr. Black was not far behind for his substitute-teaching gig.

Russell Crowe, Master and Commander 23%
Jack Black, The School of Rock 21%
Andy Serkis, LOTR: The Return of the King 20%
TIE: Hayden Christensen, Shattered Glass 13%
Ian McKellen, LOTR: The Return of the King 13%
Billy Bob Thornton, Bad Santa 10%

Most Overlooked Movie

Indeed, it seemed strange to us too. The very idea that Elephant, Gus Van Sant's affectingly creepy Columbine-inspired movie, could make for such a fuss at Cannes, including winning the coveted Palme D'Or, without winning any major noms at the Oscars, seems more than a minor slight.

Elephant 31%
Kill Bill Vol. 1 25%
Les Triplettes de Belleville 12%
The School of Rock 10%
A Mighty Wind 5%
28 Days Later 4%

Best Soundtrack

Lost in Translation, Sofia Coppola's second feature, proves that this bit of Hollywood royalty's first feature, The Virgin Suicides, was no fluke. It also shows the gal has superb taste in music - both films boast wicked soundtracks.

Lost in Translation 38%
Kill Bill Vol. 1 31%
Les Triplettes de Belleville 12%
The School of Rock 10%
A Mighty Wind 5%
28 Days Later 4%

Best Male Bod

Ahoy, matey! Our readers clearly agree with the old adage: beauty is skin Depp.

Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean 37%
Jude Law, Cold Mountain 23%
Ben Affleck, Gigli 19%
Gollum, LOTR: The Return of the King 14%
Hulk, Hulk 5%
Arnold Schwarzenegger, T3: Rise of the Machines 2%

Best Female Bod

Readers admired Johansson's figure, even when it was intertwined with that of Bill Murray.

Scarlett Johansson, Lost in Translation 34%
Monica Bellucci, The Matrix (Reloaded and Revolutions) 19%
Uma Thurman, Kill Bill Vol. 1 18%
Cameron Diaz, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle 15%
Chloe Sevigny, Party Monster 9%
Kristanna Loken, T3: Rise of the Machines 5%

Worst Performance

The news keeps getting worse for JHo: seemingly endless critical disdain for this movie, a breakup with Ben, and now, even Mirror readers crap on her!

Jennifer Lopez, Gigli 45%
TIE: Ben Affleck, Gigli 19%
Keanu Reeves, The Matrix (Reloaded and Revolutions) 19%
Bernie Mac, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle 9%
Harrison Ford, Hollywood Homicide 8%
Macaulay Culkin, Party Monster 0%

Most Overhyped and/or Overrated Movie

The double whammy of two sequels released in but one year appears to have left our readers pretty much Matrixed out.

The Matrix (Reloaded or Revolutions) 47%
The Last Samurai 17%
Seabiscuit 16%
LOTR: The Return of the King 9%
T3: The Rise of the Machines 8%
Cold Mountain 4%

The Movie that Never Should Have Happened

Surprise! Gigli, the movie everyone loves to hate, wins a second category in our movie anti-sweepstakes!

Gigli 61%
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 12%
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle 11%
Duplex 7%
Elf 5%
Hollywood Homicide 4%

Best CGI/Animated Character

Readers cleverly took to the most intriguingly complex character in Peter Jackson's trilogy.

Gollum, LOTR: The Return of the King 56%
Nemo, Finding Nemo 22%
O-Ren Ishii, Kill Bill Vol. 1 12%
Bruno, Les Triplettes de Belleville 8%
TIE: Hulk, Hulk 5%
Chiyoko, Millennium Actress 5%

Best Violence

Leave it to Quentin Tarantino to generate a landslide in this category, choreographing one of the most exquisitely violent films ever.

Kill Bill Vol. 1 69%
LOTR: The Return of the King 9%
28 Days Later 6%
TIE: The Matrix (Reloaded or Revolutions) 5%
T3: Rise of the Machines 5%
Hulk 5%

And now for the real Oscars...

In our yearly bid to help you along with your office or party Oscar pool, here are the odds-on faves in the official categories, at least according to our readers.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Benicio del Toro, 21 Grams 37%; Tim Robbins, Mystic River 33%; Ken Watanabe, The Last Samurai 15%; Alec Baldwin, The Cooler 8%; Djimon Hounsou, In America 6%. BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Renée Zellweger, Cold Mountain 54%; Marcia Gay Harden, Mystic River 18%; Holly Hunter, thirteen 15%; Shohreh Aghdashloo, House of Sand and Fog 6%; Patricia Clarkson, Pieces of April 6%. BEST ACTOR: Sean Penn, Mystic River 40%; Bill Murray, Lost in Translation 35%; Ben Kingsley, House of Sand and Fog 11%; Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean 10%; Jude Law, Cold Mountain 4%. BEST ACTRESS: Charlize Theron, Monster 64%; Naomi Watts, 21 Grams 14%; Diane Keaton, Something's Gotta Give 13%; Keisha Castle-Hughes, Whale Rider 9%; Samantha Morton, In America 1%. BEST DIRECTOR: Peter Jackson, LOTR: The Return of the King 54%; Sofia Coppola, Lost in Translation 20%; Clint Eastwood, Mystic River 14%; Fernando Meirelles, City of God 10%; Peter Weir, Master and Commander 1%. BEST PICTURE: LOTR: The Return of the King 58%; Lost in Translation 24%; Mystic River 11%; Master and Commander 5%; Seabiscuit 1%.

Winners of the eighth annual Alternative Academy Awards contest will be announced in next week's Mirror. Mark Slutsky tabulated ballot responses; Matthew Hays supplied the pithy commentary. The Oscars will be broadcast on Sunday, Feb. 29, at 8:30pm on CFCF-12

>> Movie Listings

MIRROR ARCHIVES » Feb 26-Mar 3.2004: INSIDE - COVER | ARCHIVES INDEX | CURRENT ISSUE
© Communications Gratte-Ciel Ltée 2004