M Hi. This is Robin Rock Star from the great crappy band Judgemental and people who are reading this are probably saying, "Hey, Robin, what are your favourite local bands?" This is my Top Five. My first favourite local band deserves to be touring Europe and not stuck in this shit town. Manic Manon. They're just so fucking great and Sebastien's a SEXY BITCH. Number two would have to be [indecipherable]. They're just funny guys and wicked to party with and they write great fucking music. They're a trio and awesome. Number three would have to be Real Deal. Real Deal are a great skater punk band. Real intense energy. Number four, probably nobody knows who the hell they are, is Fifty Stars Anger. Very good, almost old-school AFI sound. I don't even like AFI so much but these guys fucking blow the roof off the house when they play. And number five would have to be Judgemental - no, just kidding. Unfortunately, they're not together anymore, but number five would have to be Vaginal Croutons. Those guys are just insane. So those are my Top Five. Have a great time reading them. [BLEEP!]

M This is ex-Disgruntled drummer Alex and here is why punk bands get absolutely no respect in Montreal. You have green and blue hair, you don't have any talent and you come up with lame ass names like Judgemental and Disgruntled. I mean, haven't we heard enough Green Day and Misfits covers? Psychotic 4 is the only band that may have a chance at making it, solely due to the fact that they have some talent. Oh yeah, and, Robin from Judgemental, goons with PAPERCLIPS in their ears don't get any respect - they get laughed at. [BLEEP!]

M If pop/punk was to be summed up as music that sounded like either the Ramones, Screeching Weasel, Descendants, Vindictive or the Queers, I think that singer from the Dropouts should be fuckin' happy his band was compared to them. Especially knowing that his shitty useless generic fucking band will never get anywhere. [BLEEP!]

M I don't know if anyone remembers that group 2Live Crew, well, they're still around. I just went and peeped them in Ottawa and they rocked the house. They're as nasty as they were back then. They had strippers onstage, whipped cream was poured on girls, there was spanking, oh it was crazy! When I talked to them, I said come to Montreal and, apparently, they were here a few days before. What's the deal with that? Nobody told me. I swear I would've heard about it, somebody would've heard about it. So what's the deal, Montreal? Was 2Live Crew here or not? I don't know but, either way, they rock. Check their new album out. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F I'm just calling to complain about Montreal English radio stations, aka America's bitches. I'm really sick of these stations not supporting local anglophone artists, who have to leave the province and go to the States, become famous there, come back and only then receive airplay. I've been following my friend's band for the past year, they're in the Top Five in Quebec with their first song and the Top 40 with their second song. Mix 96 has not even given them notice and I'm just really sick of this. The Stills had to leave and are now getting noticed, but that's just because they're getting famous in New York. I just think it's really retarded when a city that prides itself on local culture ignores part of its population. That's a really pissy thing. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, this is for the American guy who was ranting that you can't buy beer after 11 p.m. in Quebec. Well, I've got something for you. Your legal drinking age in America is 21, when here we can legally buy beer as soon as we turn 18. So that means that we Canadians have three more years of beer buying than you do. That gives us 17,520 MORE HOURS OF BEER BUYING than you by the time we've turned 21. So even though you have three hours more a day of beer buying in the States, it will still take you 16 years to buy as much beer as you can in Quebec. Out. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, well at least our beer doesn't suck. [BLEEP!]

M If you're gonna eat meat, be very careful because it's dangerous to eat meat and the only way is to learn how to ENERGIZE THE MEAT so the meat has vitality and it's good for you. The meat will be delicious and it will be tender and it'll be tasty and it'll be energizing to you also. It'll make you feel good and strong. [BLEEP!]

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