You know how sometimes there's a little kid running around unattended and you just want to kick in his skull and rip out his eyes and bury him, still half-alive, somewhere he'll never be found? A waiter in Atlanta, Georgia, does. The waiter was working for a popular restaurant when he was assigned to a home wedding reception. It's a day his testicle will always remember.

According to court testimony, a nine-year-old boy and his younger brother were left to run wild at the house while their parents were at the wedding ceremony. At some point, the nine-year-old grabbed a knife and threatened the wait staff. The waiter told him to go play outside. The boy responded with a spoiled-rotten foot to the waiter's crotch.

The waiter sued the boy and his parents, claiming the kick caused great pain and sex was forever tarnished. Along with his ice pack, the waiter now also has $15,000 (U.S.) to nurse his wounds with.

» Scott Saxon