by JOHNSON CUMMINS

Director Gavin O'Connor's latest film recounts the true story of the 1980 U.S.A Olympic hockey team and their grab at the gold, culminating in victory over the USSR. Unfortunately, this cute little Disney sports film fails to put it between the pipes, back-bending to the post 9/11 resurgence in American patriotism and flag waving. Worse than that, Miracle is just downright moronic.

Kurt Russell plays head coach Herb Brooks, who takes on this rag-tag team of hockey players and, through drive and determination, ultimately turns them into (you guessed it!) world champions. Russell is as one-dimensional on the screen as ever, struggling with a plastered-on Massachusetts accent while packing in all the character depth of a wading pool. The rest of the unknown cast is pretty rickety, but the real criminal is O'Connor's blatant insult on movie viewers' intelligence.

Right from the word go, O'Connor cues the pomp and circumstance fanfare and lets Russells' win-one-for-the-Gipper locker-room pep talks fly. Just as the orchestra swells and the umpteenth speech about American pride dies down, another one clobbers you over the head attempting to tug on your red, white and blue heartstrings. After an hour and half of being constantly bombarded with drive and determination and the American dream, O'Connor actually becomes unintentionally funny when he stoops to new lows: the repeated chanting of "U.S.A." and the insertion of a Jimmy Carter inspirational speech. But he really beats the band when he actually has Russell pull out his best John Wayne and mutter, "Let's beat those commie pinkos!" Egads, man! You're killin' me over here!

Surely O'Connor realizes that a steady flow of hollow blockbuster sentiment devoid of any sympathetic characters simply makes for a hockey movie that comes across as the Ice Capades with body checks. Mr O'Connor: to the penalty box with you, as you have stepped way over the blue line and iced this puck.

Miracle opens Friday, Feb. 6

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