by JULIET WATERS

I first came across the new English word "quirkyalone" in, oddly enough, an article in La Presse. Such is the pervasiveness of online dating that the feature was devoted to the latest trend, people who don't online date. The quirkyalone movement was brought up as an example of the growing number of people who refuse to buy into the dating industry. This three-and-a-half-year-old movement just gained momentum with its own book, Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics, released just before the 2nd International Quirkyalone Day, Feb 14, 2004.

San-Francisco-based author, Sasha Cagen, a twentysomething labour union publicist, coined the term in July of 2000 in a 700-word essay she wrote for the her non-profit lifestyle webzine, Todolist (www.todolistmagazine.com). Having spent more time out of relationships than in them, Cagen was increasingly starting to find herself feeling "deeply single" and finding that this wasn't necessarily a bad feeling. Not that she was cynical about love. She believed, indeed hoped, that love might hit any time. Largely content with her life, however, she just couldn't muster up the motivation to make a career out of seeking it. Four months later the essay was reprinted in the Utne Reader. Response was such that the word became an online community, quirkyalone.net.

As to be expected, the quirkyalone movement spawned the inevitable backlash. Critics argued that the quirkyalone's love of independence was really just a pose; proof was in how pathetic and obsessive quirkyalones became whenever love did hit. Narrowing in on their soft spot - the fear that being contentedly single will make them incompetent at relationships and eventually calcify into a life sentence of lonely anonymity - critics like Josey Vogels argued, "Unfortunately for the quirkyalone, the longer you wait, the harder it becomes. And then you end up in situations... where dinner with someone becomes a life crisis."

This is indeed a paradox, something that Cagen is surprisingly not defensive about. Aiming for authenticity, not militancy, she's the first to admit that love of solitude does not translate into a laissez-faire attitude towards love. Truth is, quirkyalones have a tendency to turn into huge losers whenever they do fall in love. R.O., short for Romantic Obsession, is pretty much a fact of life for innate singletons. If there could be only one good reason why they need a community, it might be so they can spare their non-quirkyalone friends the irritating and unending details of their latest, or decade-long, crush.

It's for distinctions like this that Quirkyalone: A Manifesto is useful. As to be expected, the book is quirky, full of marginalia and hundreds of snapshot profiles of quirkyalones. There are subcategories, like the quirkyslut, who has high standards for relationships, but not such high standards for Saturday nights; or the quirkyasshole, who is ultimately needy and manipulative, but uses quirkyaloneness as a front for treating people badly. There's the quirkytogether, quirkyalones who are in relationships yet need to deal with the reality of their still present need for solitude and boundaries. There are other helpful categories like famous quirkyalones (Katherine Hepburn, Jesus), enemies of quirkyalones everywhere (Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan), and people who may be mistaken for quirkyalone, but are really quirkycreepy (Woody Allen).

Contrary to some expectations, this is not a movement that aims to convert people to singleness or argue against partnership. It's more of a consciousness-raising movement for people for whom the word resonates. Cagen estimates that quirkyalones make up about five per cent of the population, and there doesn't seem to be any indication that she's trying to increase this demographic. She seems happy to just define it. Dating experts can relax, sort of. What's being propagated in this manifesto is the belief that life can be great with or without a soulmate, a belief that may or may not result in more single people, but will definitely result in lower profit margins for the love business.

Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics by Sasha Cagen, HarperSanFrancisco, HC, 159PP, $29.95