Dear Sasha: My girlfriend just turned 15 and I just turned 18. Is it now illegal for us to date? We love each other to death, we've been going out for years now, and we definitely don't want it to end. Could you please help us out by giving us the info on our "status" and hopefully point us in the right direction for more information on this subject (statutory rape, etc.). We tried searching on the Internet and even visiting the McGill Law Library, but, unfortunately, our search turned up empty. » Star-Crossed Lovers
Dear Stars,
It is legal for you two to date now (and I assume you're sexually active or this probably wouldn't be a concern), but oddly enough, it may not have been when you started. If you began dating and subsequently fooling around when she was 12 and you were 15, then it was illegal, because if someone is 12 and you are sexually active with them, there cannot more than two years age difference between you.
Barring circumstances that don't seem to apply to you, the legal age of consent in Canada is 14, so you're currently in the clear. The only law that you should be concerned about if you are going by the books, is the sodomy law, which states that sodomy with someone under the age of 18 is illegal.
There is plenty of information online about Canadian age of consent laws, including here, www.parl.gc.ca/information/library/PRBpubs/prb993-e.htm and here, http://laws.justice.gc.ca/en/C-46/40863.html.
Dear Sasha: As soon as I discovered the joy of raiding the parents' liquor cabinet at a young age, a small but irritating problem came up. Whenever I orgasm after drinking I have a terrible burning sensation while urinating, along with the feeling that I constantly have to pee. This has been happening since I was about 12 years old (long before getting any action!) so I don't think it could be an STD. The equations are simple: sex - drinking = no problem. Drinking - sex = no problem. Drinking + sex = problem! Can you please check with your sources out there to possibly find an explanation for this? » Hunkaburnin' Love
Dear Hunkaburnin' Love,
Here is what's possibly happening to you - and just for everyone's information, Mr. Love is a boy. Alcohol is chock full of sugar, and sugar causes yeast infections (candida) in many people. According to conventional medicine, candida is one of the causes of urinary tract infections (UTIs). You come, and your ejaculate is more sugary than usual. Alcohol irritates your bladder, and enlarges your prostate. All these things combined produce the usual burning sensation of a UTI when you pee. Any medical professionals or those with personal experience reading this who might be able to explain this more accurately are welcome to, but, based on my own experiences with booze, yeast, and UTIs, that's my prognosis.
Dear Sasha: I'm a bisexual woman and an ex-swinger, so safe sex is important to me. I want to make sure I know all there is to know about having safe sex between women. I realize if there are any toys involved we shouldn't swap them unless they've been cleaned. But what I'm more concerned about is if we have any open sores on our hands, should we wear sterile gloves for manual manipulation? And I've read in the past that we should use cellophane over the genitals for oral sex. Is this true? And isn't there something better available? » Safe Sex Mindful
Dear Safe,
Yes, there is something which many people would describe as "better" when it comes to providing barrier protection for oral sex: dental dams. Venez Tels Quels (5427 St-Laurent) carries latex and polyurethane ones along with a rainbow selection of latex gloves (very handy for anal vaginal play - blue in bum, pink in pussy), while online at www.womynsware.com, you can even get a groovy garter belt unit called Dam Right to hold a dental dam in place.
Not all sex toys can be cleaned to satisfaction on the spot, so using condoms on them is your best approach.
Got any questions for Sasha? Write her at
465 McGill Street, 3rd floor, Montreal, Quebec, H2Y 4B4
Fax: 393-3173
e-mail: pouledeluxe@yahoo.com
