M This is about the Shalabi Effect show at Sala Rossa the other night. It was enjoyable and all that stuff but it's funny, as the band were tuning up, people in the crowd were SHOOSHING other people for talking. Meanwhile, on stage, Anthony the guitarist said, "Keep talking, we're just tuning." But they didn't see him because he was low and crouching down. So they kept shooshing. And it was embarrassing - people come to an AVANT-GARDE MUSIC show and they hear the musicians tuning up and they figure it must be part of the show! But even if the musicians were playing, you shouldn't go around shooshing people in a venue like the Sala, where the bar is hustling and bustling and the fridges are opening and closing and there is all this atmospheric sound and the music itself actually incorporates it all into one thing. It's rude and arrogant and disgusting. They were just tuning up, you idiots! [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, for the prick who said I should pull my head out of my ass and open my mind to other things. Well, guy, I think you should do that to yourself! Because I don't think you are qualified to judge what is music and what is not. I just want to PUNCH YOU IN THE STOMACH. And to the other guy who said that DJ culture rules, man, you're funny, but I want to punch you in the stomach too! Bye. [BLEEP!]

M I'm just wondering if the people who called in about the turntables versus real punk music debate realize the IRONY of the situation. Because one guy calls in praising what he thinks is good music and that other people's music sucks and a bunch of other people call up the following week and say, "No, our music is good and your music sucks." Can't you all just recognize that music is music and that's that? I play in a rock group and I know what it is to play in a rock group and I have a friend who spins and believe me, it takes a lot of talent to spin. It's pretty fuckin' hard. [BLEEP!]

M This fuckin' discussion is taking longer to die than punk rock. Someone better shoot it in the head and save us all the worry. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, well, if hip hop is only shit talk, baggy pants, ass-shaking bitches and ego-trip gangstas, then country music is nothing but tobacco-chewing, gasoline-huffing, cow-milking, tight Levi-wearing cowboys on horses. All right. [BLEEP!]

M For Small Town Jeff from Florida who complains that all Montreal girls want to do is have sex. Listen man, crazy girls are beautiful nymphos who TORMENT men's minds by showing up at their doorsteps demanding sex in the middle of the night but never calling again. They are actresses, models and dancers, usually with at least one substance abuse problem, who like to break things when they get mad. And an inordinate number of these girls live in Montreal. Many otherwise smart guys fall for them continually, wasting years of their lives because when craziness comes wrapped up in a beautiful package, it's hard to look the other way. [BLEEP!]

F In response to Small Town Jeff. Darling, why not just rejoice in the fact that the Montreal women are hip, willing, able and ready to have sex and share their wonderful bodies with you. As for myself, I'm just happy to know Montreal is so full of hot, willing, available men - and women. It's great to be a bi-girl! [BLEEP!]

F Look, Jeff from Florida, not all Montreal women are sluts or crazy. Some of us actually have some MORALS and respect for our bodies. And yes, there still are some things we consider sacred. [BLEEP!]

M I don't understand what people are talking about with these women who are giving it up for just about every guy that asks. I mean, I haven't had sex for three fuckin' months! [BLEEP!]

F I just wanted to say, man, Montreal is so beautiful in the winter. We got the beautiful mountain and people are skiing and our city is covered in amazing free public art thanks to fabulous graffiti artists. We got things like community happenings - conscious music for the masses. The only thing I got to complain about are those TRUCKS that drive around and around with their ROTATING ADVERTISEMENTS on the back. What the fuck is up with that? Peace. [BLEEP!]

M This is to all the fuckwits, friends, monkeys and other patrons who frequent the Cock 'n Bull bar on Ste-Catherine. Please stop grabbing my underwear and pulling my PANTS up, or otherwise bringing attention to my ass when I play pool. I know they sag, I know my underwear shows, but seriously, this is the way I wear my pants. If you had a torso as short as mine you would surely wear your pants as low as I do. Give me just one day a week where I can bend over and play pool without having my butt pinched. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

Next issue: Open forum