F This is in response to the guy who said we should all move on to DJ culture and forget about bands. Well, DJs don't need NO TALENT to be DJs. Musicians need talent. Musicians need to work hard to bring real music to people. But hip hop? That's not real music. That's just blah-blah-blah talking shit and you don't need talent to wear PHAT PANTS and look like an idiot. Why do we have to kill talent in this city? Why are bands not allowed to play because some stupid DJ wants to do a night? That's just not fair and it's ridiculous and it's the death of music! [BLEEP!]

M About that bullshit DJ culture crap. First of all, the reason people talk about punk rock is because it's actual music. You sit there behind a stupid turntable and you're like, "Look, I can turn some records" and really you're just ripping off people's music. I play guitar in a punk band called Judgemental and punk is here to stay. Fuck DJ culture! [BLEEP!]

M Good afternoon Rant Line™. I just read some moron saying that sex, drugs and rock and roll are over. Buddy, where have you been living? Under a fucking rock on the side of Mount fucking Royal? Shithead, have you ever gone outside to see how many people are going to ROCK CONCERTS nowadays? You dumb shit, did you see what happened at the Exploited show? It's dead? It's dead?! Are you stupid? It's more alive than ever, man. I think maybe if you just went to a show and actually saw a good band, maybe you'd drop the stupid fucking turntables and go and see that rock and roll actually has something out there for everybody. Man, you're a dumbass. [BLEEP!]

M To the prick that says punk rock and rock and roll is over. Fucking moron, it doesn't matter, does it? Punk, metal, rock - it's all the same to you, isn't it? Why don't you pull your head out of your ass and open your mind to other things? You don't have to like it but at least be CIVIL and tolerate it like we do with your shit. You sit there, you push buttons, you turn knobs and you think you're making music, but you're not. Your shit is manufactured, plain and simple. You've probably never seen a guitar in your life except maybe in a picture, dumbass. Love live rock and roll in all its fucking forms! [BLEEP!]

F Hip hop and all that crap is a bunch of rehashed male chauvinist ego trips and the only perk about the whole scene is the BOOTY SHAKING SLUTS that all the kids hope to get. Okay, bye. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, Rant Line™, I'd just like to say that the Montreal music scene is so cool but this city is so CONSTIPATED that we can't get it out. We can't get the good stuff out to the rest of the world. We need to send our shit all over the world - rock bands, DJs, electronica music, hip hop, rap, R&B, we've got everything! Gay music, straight music, we love music here. We've got the shit! Now let's shit it out across the world!! [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, I'm the bass player of a band, Sex Oven. To the Ex Factor guy: you're pleasuring yourself while watching a youth show, that's, like, wrong and you need to get psychological counselling before some guy like me comes along and puts a bullet up your ass. Peace. [BLEEP!]

F Now get this. I'm walking down St-Laurent street on Saturday night after work and I've just made some good tips so I'm happy. And I look down on the ground and see $60 like it had fallen from the sky. So I'm about to bend down and pick it up when these two young guys walk by, bend over, pick it up and hand it to me. And I have a really confused look on my face, because how often do you just find three $20 bills lying there on the street? So they go, "It's not yours, is it?" And I, being a crazy honest COUNTRY GIRL, say no. To which they reply, "Give the money to us then, we picked it up." And in my mind I figure, okay, share the wealth and I hand each of them a 20. So I'm heading off on my merry way when I hear them screaming after me, "Sucker" and "Stupid ho," apparently laughing at my idiocy. Naturally I was affronted. It makes you think about human nature. Instead of their saying, "Wow, you're awesome" and "Why can't there be more generous people in the world like you," they call me a sucker and a stupid ho. I mean, really. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. My name is Jeff. As a SMALL TOWN GUY from a small town in Florida, I want to know why all of the women in Montreal are all insane and crazy? They have sex with anyone. I just wanna know, is anything sacred anymore? Is anything sacred? What is going on? Thank you. [BLEEP!]

Next issue: Open forum