by GABRIEL MORENCY

So much rage and so little space, so don't expect any foreplay (hey, life is short). It's good to be back after an unwanted three-week holiday-induced vacation. Noisemakers, my ass. At least there was no anger management class this time. Although I am a little concerned about an invitation to lunch by the Mirror's brass, as meeting with the bosses is like meeting with the cops - it's rare that something good is going to happen. Maybe they just miss us. It's possible! Isn't it?

The Canadiens' recent strong play may be fine for the suits on la Gauchetière and for the decade-long suffering faithful, but for those of us who live on the corner of doom and gloom, we are going to have to find somewhere else to channel our pessimism and negativity. Donald Audette (gone). Chad Kilger (placed on waivers with no claim - that's a wake-up call). Mike Ribeiro (team's leading scorer). Patrice Brisebois (the dude is a freaking double digit +!!). Joey Juneau (winning face-offs, killing penalties).

In other words, players who were harder to find on most nights than a downtown street without a pothole no longer need to put on ski-masks when they cash their gaudy paycheques every two weeks. Although, in a form of poetic justice, the strengthened CDN$ means the US$-paid players are now getting less. Though there's not much of a difference cashing a $153,000 cheque and a $151,987, is there?

Throw in their first potential Norris Trophy winner (Sheldon Souray) since Chelios in 1989, their first potential rookie of the year (Michael Ryder) since Ken Dryden in 19-freaking-72, solid goaltending and much improved coaching and the Bell Centre might actually have some hockey played in the building this spring. Hockey? Springtime? In Montreal? Novel concept, think it will sell?

Pigskin Prognosticator

Sunday, January18th
Indianapolis +3 at New England

Still think Peyton Manning is soft? The Colts have racked up 79 points in two playoff games and find themselves just one win away from the Super Bowl for the first time since moving from Baltimore to Indianapolis in 1984.

Unfortunately, they will need more than horseshoes on their helmets to survive in Foxborough, as the Pats are 9-0 on their home field.

On paper, the Colts have the better team, but the game will be won by the Pats, who will ride a vicious defence that will give the Colts a hell of a lot more looks than either Denver or K.C. did. Throw in the arctic-like conditions and the dome-dwelling Colts should be frozen out.

Not that it will be easy for the Pats. They must find ways to disrupt Manning and not allow him to get into the rhythm that the Broncos and Chiefs let him find. These clubs met in Indy on Nov. 30 with New England winning 38-34. They win again 24-23.

Carolina + 4.5 Philadelphia

Coming off of last year's NFC Championship loss on their home field and then starting the season 0-2, Donovan McNabb's stock was falling lower than Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie's dignity.

Just as the Chunky Soup curse (see Terrell Davis, Kurt Warner and Brian Urlacher) was beginning to rival the E.A. Sports and Sports Illustrated hex (no explanation needed!), enter Rush Limbaugh and McNabb catches fire. A nine-game winning streak and a miraculous fourth-down-and-26 conversion later, the Eagles find themselves in the NFC title game for the third consecutive year.

This time they get it done. Carolina is a tough, blue-collar team, but the one place you don't want to get into a street fight is Philadelphia, as the Eagle players won't walk off the field alive if they don't win. Philadelphia beat Carolina on their home field Nov. 30, 25-16. This time around Eagles win 23-10.

Sports Rage with Gabriel Morency is vented weeknights 11 p.m.-2 a.m. on TEAM 990 AM. This column appears bi-weekly. Comments: sportsrage@team990.com